Monday, August 07, 2006

By that dear name, I called you. Mother.


12 years ago, you did not bid us farewell.
Trembling in amazing calmness,
you move on silently, as gentle as the wind.
You departed to the garden of God.


With your strong wills and admirable determinations,
you have given us the spiritual and moral comforts.
You have laboured days and nights,
sacrificed your youth and beauty,
and unselfishly devote your love to all of us.

Without reclaiming your labour of love,
in the evening of warm October's air,
you made the solo journey to be with God,
to rest your tired soul.......
You left your legacy of love and the memories
which forever resides in my heart.

You have always said A man is a pillar to the family, and
"Tar Por Kia, Beh Sai Low Bug Sai...."
(" A man must not shed tears ")
I shall always tried not to show my emotions in sorrow and sadness.
But, in solitude, tears do flow freely recalling the images of you.
Sometimes, thinking of the life you went through,
I do hide in my room and silently cried in my heart.
Forgive me, I can not be a man of perpetual no sorrow....

I have not done enough to make your life passage smoother.
I have not done enough to make life more comfortable for you.
I always thought that, tomorrow, I can make it better for you.
I am sorry for the countless tomorrow's that you have waited
for me to deliver my duties as a son to you.
Tomorrow came, you are freed from pain,
in eternal peace, and you are gone forever.

I am sorry for being too blinded to see your pains,
I am sorry for not having the courage to accept that you are dying,
I am sorry for refusing to let you go.
I am forever indebted to you for thy love.....

By that dear name, I called you. Mother.
losing you is my life's greatest sorrow.
I missed you and cherished the memories of you.
Of those good times, not so good times,
and of those growing up years...

I seek your forgiveness
for everything that I should have done but procastinated.
I seek your forgiveness for not bidding you the final farewell.

Oh, my most merciful and gracious Buddha,
please accept my humble prayer to you,
please bless my mother's soul
to ease the attainment of grace and joys
in your garden of perpetual happiness.........

Om mani padmi hom, Om Namo Amithaba Buddha.....

Saturday, August 05, 2006

老婆, 你好 !

摇滚的灵魂和激情生活舞台,
通过悲伤和泪水的人生目标,
是道或是德我心中伤痕深深,
在沉默中我怀疑自己的存在,
在疯狂中我幻想美好的未来,
人生是没感觉和没理解的谜,
人生舞台是一种可怕的地方.

我只是古老品牌的现实生活,
你不怕失去了见解感情兴趣,
为了我你贡献你的未来一切,
你的心曾经流泪和哀思绵绵,
但是我佩服你不怕失败精神,
没浪漫爱情和没有颜色年龄,
为了你我会征服和实现梦想,
我会给你笑声欣慰希望意义,
因为你是上帝派来的好天使.

老婆, 我非常感谢你. 我爱你!

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Blog posting in Chinese.....

My first posting in Chinese.......

捕客哦,
拿起笔, 慢慢写.
前面看, 后面看.
走到东, 走到西.
有激情,有信心.
掌握言论自由,
评论国家大事?
原来是一个梦.


哦,
英雄心事, 美人情!
去睡觉吧!
去发一个美丽的梦,
梦中再见我的情人,
我的好老婆......

- 黑咖啡论事 -

Boh Lat kong liow......

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Life Journey (2)

I was born in a small town in Malaysia.
A small town named Taiping.
A town that is given the name that symbolizes eternal peace.
Ironically, the name was derived
after peace treaty between two warring triads.


I am lucky to be part of this historic town.
I learned street negotiation skills,
I learned how to protect myself on the street,
I learned multiculturalisms in pure boyhood innocence.
I learned the hardships and flexibilities of small town environment
I learned to be resilient as a small boy.
I grew up there for the next 18 years,
and lived in the same house with the barest necessity.

I went through 2 primary schools, and two secondary schools.
I have my primary education in Chinese language medium school.
For my secondary education,
I was assigned to English Language medium school.
The experiences in changing languages of education were traumatic.
Imaging trying to adapt to control the muscles of your tongue,
to produce acceptable pronunciation of words in various languages.
But, I am lucky to be in this unique educational process
I learned the Chinese dialects of Mandarin, hokkien, and Cantonese.
I learned to write and speak in English language
I learned to write and speak in Malay language
My only regret is,
I never have the opportunity to learn Tamil language.

At 19 years old, I ventured out beyond Taiping.
Like they said, dari sebuah desa,
membawa sebuah beg penuh dengan harapan dan cita cita.

I ventured into Toronto, Canada as a teenager to attend my high school there.
Later in the same year, I enrolled into the University of Guelph.
As most young men said, it was the most dramatic and New phase of my life.
For the first time, I felt and saw the changes in seasons.
I saw the leaves turn golden yellow, red, and brown in romantic Autumn,
I saw the freshness of flowers and the renewal of life in Spring
I saw the extremity of winter, and the outward bounds spirits of Summer..
For the first time, I can feel the temperature below freezing level.
For the first time, I can feel and see snow falls.
I met friends from different countries with different language capabilities
I learned to be independent.

I learn to appreciate different levels of intellectual cohabitation.
I learned to appreciate the values of tolerance and and patient.
I learned the beauty of diversity and differences.
I learned to be a scholar and a man.
I learned to be a renaissance man.

With a degree that I can roll-up to look at the end of unemployment line,
I was lucky to miss flight 007 that was shot down by the Russian,
I arrived safely in the old KL International Airport in Subang Malaysia.
I secured my first job in the Pear of the Orient.
With my first pay, I bought myself a brand new Nissan Sunny.
I married and start my family in Penang.
In the eve of Christmas, my son was born in Adventist Hospital.
However, in cerebration of new life, I also suffer setback.
I lost my job. On the optimistic side, it was a blessing.
It was during those difficult times,

I know who are my true friends.

Out of life unavoidable necessity, I took a train down to Kuala Lumpur,
In search of financial security for my family.
I was lucky, my brother provide me with free accommodation,
and I secured my first job, and my wife followed me later.
A new beginning in the fertile muds ( lumpur) of the river mouth (kuala).
More than 20 years since I left Taiping, I am where I am now in Selangor.
With a comfortable family and a comfortable business of my own,
looking back, I did indeed have a successful career.
Thank you God, for your graceful protections, encouragements, and enrichments.

Now, life is but a funny retrospective memory trip...
I feel the comforts and warm of my home now,
but I miss those comfortable years of my parents home in Taiping.
I have the financial comforts to buy what I want now,
but I can't buy back those bygone simple nostagic life in Taiping.
With confidence, I can plan for the future in great details,
but I can't relive my past in Taiping in the simplest of requirements.
It is just not the same feelings anymore !

God, how much Malaysia has changed.
But, my root is still in the nostagic simple old Taiping,
I left Taiping as a young and innocent man,
I left my soul there as a young man,
I need to make a journey back into my pasts,
to rediscover and rejuvenate my inner most feelings,
and to reassess my priorities in life.
Home is where my heart and my past is.
I need to make a sentimental journey home to reclaim my soul.
I leave it to God to decide the timing of my homecoming.

From now own, In spirits, Taiping shall be my springboard
to be a more compassionate man, a man responsive to his surroundings,
my spirits shall reveal what my eyes can not see.
I shall be able to listen what my ears can not hear.....

Looking back, I realized !
How foolish I was !
Life is not a race of material and wealth accumulations.
Life is path that has been destined by the almighty.
It is up to us to enrich this destined path
with sights, smells, sounds, and tastes.
It is up to us to nourish this path
with our faith in the Almighty.
Today's sorrows, pains, triumphs, and tribulations
will always be tomorrow's past.
Follow your heart and look forward to tomorrow.
It is up to us to walk this path with our head held high.
It is up to us to make this path an enjoyable passage of life.
a life of no regret !
Life is not about dreams, or about reaching for the sky.
Life is, after all, not a destination, but a journey of purpose.

Om mani padme hom. Om Namo Amithaba Buddha.