Friday, October 24, 2008

Memories from my childhood

When I was at the age of 10 years old back in the 70's, the environment made me an independent boy ahead of my age. My father was a very hardworking vegetable seller, he went to work at 5:00AM in the morning, and came back around mid night, 7 days a week, 365 days a years. His only break is the first day of Chinese new year. My mother, who never attended a single day of formal education, is a full time housewife. Both my parents are burdened with the heavy responsibilities of taking care of 10 children.

At those young age, as with any boys or girls, I do have my desires and envied those “lucky boys and girls” that are showered with with all those extras and luxuries by their parents. However, I do realized, times are difficult for both my parents, they already tried their level best and sacrificed to give their best to the family.

It is tough to be born into a poor family...... But in a way, it is also a blessing to be born into a poor family, because, in those day, we may be poor financially, but we are rich in survival instinct !

I have learned not to further burdened my parents with unnecessary requests or needs. To earn extra pocket money, sometimes I walked to the village wet market to solicit for small job early in the morning or after school. Sometimes, they paid me 20 to 50 cents for 1 or 2 hours of work, and sometimes they offered me a bowl of noodle as wages. In those day, one bowl of noodle costs 40 cents. I do feel very proud to be able to earn my own bowl of noodle.

I remembered, when I was in Standard Four in a primary school in Kampung Boyan, I was troubled by toothache for a few days. I knew then, complaining my pains to my mother is only going burden her with extra anxiety. In order to get free dental treatment, I went to the school's headmaster, ask him for a letter of reference to the Taiping General Hospital's dental clinic. I walked from the school in Kampung Boyan to the General Hospital, managed to find my way to the dental clinic. To cut a long story short, the dentist successfully extract my decayed tooth. Praised me for my bravery. He even commented to me that one day I will become a great man (Orang Besar). Yah, I am indeed an Orang besar now – I am a grown man Now !


I will write about my other childhood memories in some other times. Until then, good night.......

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Memories of my childhood....

I attended my primary school education at the Hokkien Association in Taiping. My father used to send me to school using his old and bulky "man" bicycle........

I imitated my elder brother by holding big firecracker between my fingers and exploded it. The end result is, I end up having a split thumb......
As a young boy, I used to fish at the river behind my house. In one "accident", I end up having the fish hook stucked in my foot. My mother have to take me to the general hospital to remove the hook.....
As a young boy, I used to run around the village road in Pokok Asam in our famous "blue colour rrussian pants" chasing after snapped kites........

I once broke my hand trying to outrun all my brothers to be the first one to reach the Indian bread vendor...

My late father love to watch me doing the cha cha dance over a glass of Guiness Stout....

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Round Two : After the first Chemo

22nd October 2008

I did not have a good night sleep last night because the pain at abdominal and back was quite unbearable. I woke up at around 2:30AM, and was lying on the bed staring at the ceiling waiting for morning to come. No matter how hard I tried, sleep just won't come.

At around 5:00AM, I on my notebook to surf the net, checking and replying emails, and other stuffs I normally do on the net. As usual, At around 6:00AM, I go for my morning walk in the park and came back around 7:00AM.

Today, I guess is not really not a good day for me. Firstly, I am tired due to lack of sleep, and secondly, I don't seem to have appetite for foods even though I am hungry. And the pain at the abdominal area is getting really unbearable. Taking the painkiller will put me in a drowsy mood, and I want to be in control of myself. In fact, I am in a bit of foul moods just wanting to let go my frustration on anybody that is within my vicinity. But I guess I have to control my emotion in order not to let my negative energy disrupt the harmony of the environment.

I do ask myself why I have to suffer from this dreaded disease. But I guess it is meaningless to query the unknowns. God has given me a life, it is also his prerogative to take back this life. But whatever it is, I am nt going to pitified myself over spilled milk, I will have to be strong for myself and family members to overcome whatever difficulties that may arised in the near future.

The rest of the day are monotonous and boring, I just don't know how to pass my time today, perhaps, I am too moody today.

The only good news I received today is, when my son show me a letter from the college that he qualified for graduation in the B. Sc ( hons) program. At least now I have one less financial burden and look forward to see this young man start a new career and a life of his own.

Oh yah, I also forgot to mention that, my God daughter gave birth to a healthy baby boy last week. Due to my current health condition, I have not been able to visit my God Daughter and my “grandson” yet. Anyway, I am very happy that Almighty God gave a new life and a new hope to my family. I look forward to hold my “grandson” on my lap......... At 48 years old, and I already have a grandson !

Despite all the setbacks, life is, after all not so bad. At least, I still have a healthy, happy, and supportive family.

I do hope tonight I can have a good night sleep.......................

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Round Two : Monday blues.....

My wife and two personal friends accompanied me to Tung Shin Hospital on Monday morning. The chemotherapy session started at 9:00AM and finished at 11:00AM, after which I was checked into the ward room at 11:30AM to rest. I was discharged at 4:30PM after settling all the hospital bills. As usual, Traffic in Kuala Lumpur, followed by Federal Highway, were a bit congested. I managed to reached home slightly before 7:00PM.

Prior to start of the treatment session, I was a bit nervous and in a state of unsure mind because I have heard a lot of scary stories of the side effects and success rate of chemotherapy from various sources. There are friends who strongly advised me against chemotherapy, some advised me go for surgical options, and some advised the various options of chemotherapy. Admittedly, I was overload with information from many well intended friends which cause my indecisiveness. At the end of the day, rationality has to prevail, I consulted medical professional, and was advised to proceed with Chemotherapy immediately.

The chemotherapy session took slightly more than 2 hours where a combination of drug was dripped intravenously via my right arm. I don't feel much discomfort throughout the session, except some numbness and coldness in my right arm.

Throughout the day, I was a bit tired. Probably due to the fact that formula of medications are working its way to destroy all the good and bad cells in the body. For the next 7 days or so, my immune system will be down. I was advised to take complete rest, drink a lot of water, and not to have too many visitor for fear of infectious diseases.

My next appointment will be three week from now. Until then, I will have to manage it from here, and hopefully, no complications arise. But today, a day after the chemo treatment, I feel lousy.........


I checked my mailbox today, I had not been reading my mails for the past two weeks, and there are thousands of emails in my mailbox. Most of them are probably junk mails. But I found one mail from my brother. My brother send me this Youtube video clip. It is very soothing and spiritually motivating. Thank you brother.


God will make a way,
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way.

By a roadway in the wilderness, He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today.

God will make a way,
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way


Om mani pedme hum.....................

Friday, October 17, 2008

Round Two : the lighter side of God....

Yesterday, I consulted an Oncology at Tung Shin Hospital, and made preparation and paperwork for admission the following Monday to start my Chemotherapy. I had a light lunch with my wife and a personal friend in Petaling Jaya. After lunch, I went to DUMC in Section 13 to see a Pastor friend, Pastor Gan. The kind pastor provide me some spiritual advises, pray for me, and at the same time ask me to also pray to Lord Jesus anytime at home.

Towards later part of the day at around 4:00PM, I decide to go outside the small garden of my house to do some light exercise. The sky is a bit gloomy and looks like it is going to rain soon. Looking upward at the sky, suddenly I was reminded of Pastor Gan's advise of offering prayer to Lord Jesus.

So, looking upward at the sky, my prayer goes like this : “ Lord Jesus, I surrender myself to you, tell me what should I do next ?.......”

For a moment, there is no special feelings, changes in environment, or whatever extraordinary spiritual phenomena occurred. I told myself, well, who am I to ask the Mighty Lord Jesus to manifest his answer to me. I pause for a moment, took out a cigarette, lighted it, and took a deep puff. Immediately after I blow out a puff of smoke, suddenly there is a flash of lightning from the sky, followed by a series of loud thunders !

Wow, that was a mighty powerful message !!! Whoever up there must be pretty funny and have a good sense of humor.


Om Namo Amithaba Buddha