Saturday morning, what a beautiful Saturday morning, I thought. As usual, after going through the white men indoctrinated hygienic rituals of the morning, I made my cup of "2-in-1" Malacca Sin Chew Coffee. With the hot cup coffee in my hand, I step out into my little garden to appreciate the morning air.
How wronged I was ! The air smells horrible, my eyes are irritated, and the vision are hazy. welcome to our annual occurances of haze pollution, courteousy of our religiously righteous neighbour, the Indonesians.
Come to think of it, where is our official professional apology seeker ? you know, the semi bald headed man, who goes around seeking apologies from all corner of the earth. Yep, where are you, go, go, go show your true grit and colours by demanding apology from that inconsiderate neighbours of ours. The neighbour who habitually and annually exporting their haze to our beloved land, violating our air space, and attacking our public health. Come on, Mr Apology Seeker, one more act of apology seeking is not going to take a lot of your time. Since we have perceived you to be an apology seeker, then you are paid to do the job, now, please put up a good show. Show us how good you are in seeking apology with your Indonesian slanged English. In this times of haziness, it would be quite entertaining to see some display of apology seeking showmanship. Sincerely, we voted you in for that purpose, please do your part.
As it is, everybody is making us look like a fool, apologizing for our stupidity ! We are actually quite proud of our ability to acquire a win-win situation. We did managed to extract the word "apology" while the other parties continue to mockerize us with their political sequencing of words. Job well done !
I would not be surprise, if our good neighbour issue the following apology to us.
"In the spirit of deeply rooted Asean brotherhoods, Indonesian government requests its neighbours to recognize and respect our basic economic and territorial rights to burn the forest for cultivation of foods and for other economic activities. Indonesians sympathizes with the health hazards causes to our neighbours by the haze. We, the Indonesians would like to emphasize again that it is not our intention to create haze. Yes, we start the fires, but we did not start the haze. The haze is a result of meteorogical consequnces caused by the wind blowing in the wrong directions. We are not God, we can not control the direction of the winds.
We would like all our neighbours to respect our deeply rooted Asean brotherhoods, values, and sensitivities. We also like to highlight that, in case you are not aware of your national geographical boundary, we are burning our jungles in our own sovereign territory, not yours.
Please stop pointing the fingers at Indonesians, as seemed that we intentionally asked haze to be created. We Indonesians have no problem enduring haze, likewise, we would to urge our neighbours to accept haze as part of their ecological problems.
Please learn to respect our rights to open burnings. We are sorry because haze is now a problem in your country, we are equally sorry because haze is now becoming a health hazards to your people. Please join our people to pray to the Almighty and seeking his blessing to change the direction and intensity of the winds to send the haze to the other part of the world.
Finally, we would like to say it again, that, with utmost sympathy, We apologize because your people are suffering from health problems due to haze. We, the Indonesians wish you good healths...."
I guess, the next moral thing for us to do is to recall our "peace keeping" forces from Lebanon and redeployed them to the hotspots in Indonesia to help doze off the jungle fires in Indonesia. Why risked the lives of our young men and women by sending them to to war mongering countries ? Why not let them do some real work helping the sincere Indonesian government to fight the forest fires ?
I believe the Indonesian government is also contemplating sending thousand of young men and women to Lebanon to help maintain peace and order. If the Indonesians are genuinely and sincerely love peace and humanity, may they should send their own man and women to their own jungles to contain the forest fires once and for all. It is an unneighbourly act sabotaging friendly neighbours environment by polluting their air space. Stop all your nonsenses of regional pariahisms. And, please, please stop fartings in the air about international peace. Please do the needful to stop pulluting the air qualities of neighbouring countries.
We see, therefore we fart ? And some people fart loud and smelly !
Honestly, as a Malaysian, I don't really care about what Pop Bend-the-dicks said or not said. I also don't care what Mr Lick Cock You said or not said. But I do care about the quality of air I breathe in. As it is, we Malaysians are all suffering from the bad air quality caused by our inconsiderate Indonesian neighbours. Dear government of the people that care, what are you going to do about it ? Pretending that it is not a problem and hoping that tomorrow the kind God will send heavy downpours to temporary relief the haze ?
Dear government of the people that care, please show us your competency, and please tell off the inconsiderate Indonesians in no uncertain ambiguity to put a stop to their criminal mentalities.
I am sure, if we are the one that adopt open burnings and causing the haze in Indonesia, I will not be surprises to see the streets of Jakarta filled with bunch of patriotic young men and women with red headbands demonstrating and shouting obscenities to Malaysians. But when they do it, it is their rights..... Grievances Seekers are all the same everywhere you go - self satisfying, deceitful, ignorant and inconsiderate !
Please respect my basic human rights to have clean and unpolluted air........
