Another day gone by, looking forward....

Today is the 16th day of my treatment regime. I have lost counts of how many tablets or capsules of medication I consumed on daily basis. Probably around 40 to 50 a day ! These medications taste horrible. I guess that is the price I got to pay for not keeping a healthy lifestyle and diet. If I ever get well again, I will make sure I will keep my body in good physical condition.

I had been also suffering from Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome for many years, where there is an accessory pathway in my heart that produce undesirable pulses. The doctor once did told me that I run the risk of sudden death. This syndrome has been a cause of unpleasant emotional burden to me for many years. The surprising thing is, the heart specialist ran a test on me about a week ago, and confirmed that I am already cured of Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome ! What a miracle. Perhaps, all the kind prayers by family members and friends touched the grace of the Almighty. I guess, the Almighty did love me. I also want to thank my “medicine man” for prescribing the right alternative treatment for me over the previous two weeks.

Coming back to my tumor, I do hope the current regime of alternative treatment worked this time, and I also hope the Almighty can grant me another miracle. Anyway, I should know the result by mid next week. Whatever it is, I will shoulder on with the right diets and schedule for medications. They said, God only helps those who help themselves. In this regards, I have to have faith and fully committed to this treatment regime. Whatever it is, I leave it to the Almighty to decide the outcome and the curative actions that are needed in the future.

Time flies, I had been “out-of-work” for approximately 2 months now. I am now having a very unhealthy financial position and I am running on “Overdraft” facility now. It is indeed an expensive affair to fell sick. Money don't fall down from heaven, I need to get back to work as soon as possible. Hopefully, by end of next week, I should be in better physical condition to look into and manage my financial position.

Coming back to my physical health, I do believe, the long rest and medication has done me a lot of good. In spite of the frequent abdominal and back pain, I am actually more alert and healthier. Of course, I do suffered from frequent frustrations and occasional negative feelings dealng with the ups and downs, but I have come to term with this new reality, and I am coping well. Whatever it is, I shall overcome.

That's life.............

咖啡人生

在這漫長歲月中,
人生如夢 ?
應該不是吧 ?

我說,
人生就如一杯咖啡 !
在這漫長人生的旅程中,
我品嚐過無限苦酸,
我也品嚐到無限甜蜜.
就好象一杯咖啡,
有苦涩的意义,
也有美好的甜蜜!

在這漫長人生旅程中,
你有体验和品尝過什么 ?
试试品尝我這杯香甜可口咖啡,
記住這一段美好的時刻,
留下這一段美好的回忆,
好好享受人生吧!

老婆, 谢谢你

老婆, 谢谢你.


摇滚的灵魂和激情生活舞台,
通过悲伤和泪水的人生目标,
是道或是德我心中伤痕深深,
在沉默中我怀疑自己的存在,
在疯狂中我幻想美好的未来,
人生是没感觉和没理解的谜,
人生舞台是一种可怕的地方.

我只是古老品牌的现实生活,
你不怕失去了见解感情兴趣,
为了我你贡献你的未来一切,
你的心曾经流泪和哀思绵绵,
但是我佩服你不怕失败精神,
没浪漫爱情和没有颜色年龄,
为了你我会征服和实现梦想,
我会给你笑声欣慰希望意义,
因为你是上帝派来的好天使.

老婆, 我非常感谢你!

Another day gone by, what be ?

What a blessing to wake up alive in the morning ! The morning air is indeed refreshing.

For the past two weeks or so, I have been waking up at 5:30AM in the morning, and have approximately one hours of morning walk around the park to “sweat it out”. And at 7:00AM, have my first dosage of medications. The rest of the day are pretty much the same on hourly medications. The diet and medications have done me a lot of good. At least, I am now not overweight, my skin is now more radiant, and physically I am more healthier than before. I must now have more faith in myself and the treatment regime.

Emotionally speaking, I think I have had my fair share of ups and downs over the previous few weeks. There are just simply too much anxieties, worries, sense of helplessness, fear of death, and whatever negativities that came along. And occasionally, my mind just went blank and drifted into endless loops of recursions over nothings. The fear of unknowns and the lack of control are indeed new experiences for me.

All my whole life, I always have reasonable control in everything I want to do. But this tumor thingy is creating a lot of uncertainty on everything. I am also beginning to have growing uncomfortable abdominal and back pains. I don't really know whether the medication is really working as in “healing crisis” or the general situation is taking a turn at the wrong direction. The mind is indeed a dangerous playground. If you have too much idle time and let your mind wondering around, you may end-up worrying about a lot of unnecessary probabilities which are of no benefits. But that was pretty much my recent state of mind. I guess if you put your mind onto a collision course with the fear of death, you will eventually end up consumed by the that stupid fear and earned yourself a place in history as a coward. I am born a hero, if I have to go down, I will go down as hero of my choosing.

Whatever it is, I did not asked to be inflicted with this dreaded illness. I know, it is a common disease of modern lifestyles. I Just need to stay mentally strong by observing some basic lifestyle changes and have faith in the medications.

Frankly, I am not an overly emotional man, but, words, are difficult to describe my difficulties at times like this. But I also realized I had come a long way from overcoming many difficult situations before, perhaps, any other difficult situation that are going to come by would not be that difficult after all. I got to stay positive and fight this battle. I know, eventually, with proper management of mind, medications, and spirituality, I will win this battle. I simply can not let my family down.

I am after all, a rational being. Therefore, instead of letting my emotion stray wild on negativities, I better take control of myself to stay positive, and manage the situation as rational as possible. The Almighty has blessed me with great fighting spirits, this, my friends, shall be my greatest weapon to win.


C'est La Vie, you only live once, Carp Diem ! The rest, I leave it to the Almighty to dictate.

Om Namo Amithaba Buddha...................

Another day gone by, but more frustrations....

Today is my 13th day of alternative medication regime. Sad to discover that the medication was supplied short to me since few days ago. In another word, I had already run out of some medications. Although I paid in advance for the full course of the medication, but some of the medications are supplied to me in less than the required quantity.

My wife had been trying to contact the “medicine man” to replenish the medicines, but he was always too busy to fulfill his part of the obligation of delivering full course medication to me. Prior to starting the treatment regime, I was told that, in order for the medications to be effective, I need to follow strictly to the schedule, but how do I comply to the schedule when the medication are supplied short to me ? I guess, in the event the treatment produce no significant result, the “medicine man” can always blame me for not following strictly to the regime.... Silly me, there is always a catch-22 situation for failure !

Looking at the situation, I don't have a good feeling this alternative treatment is going to work. Maybe it is advisable abandon this alternative treatments, and to revert to conventional and more trustworthy medicines of surgery and chemotherapy.

Well, two weeks wasted.......... as usual, I am a bit frustrated....