A trip down memory lane......

Taiping Coffee

I was persuaded by my ex-classmate, Muzzafar, to visit my old school in Taiping. Muzz and I were classmates at SMK King Edward VII School in 1977 & 1978. Together with my Kampungmate, Chee, we traveled back to Taiping on Oct 28th 2009. Chee is a younger brother of another of my classmate. He is a successful abstract artist and owned a studio in Kota Damansara. I used to joked with him that, one piece of his painting can fetch the price of an apartment in uptown Kuala Lumpur.

We left Subang Jaya at around 11:00AM and reached Taiping at around 2:30PM, Checked into my usual Panorama Hotel to freshen up before we proceed to our next event of the day..

For our “tea break”, we went to have a bowl of our regular Jemeema's cendul – those unforgettable and distinctive taste and fragrance ice cold dessert ! We actually also plan to savor the Malay Assam Laksa near the cendul store, but luck was not on our side. The mobile Assam Laksa store was not there on that day.

After finishing our delicious cendul, Chee suggested that there is another good Laksa store near the Pokok Assam's police station. We drove there to satiate our urge for the spicy and sourish noodle.

After finishing the laksa, on our way to pick up our car to go back to the hotel, I notice a very run down single storey wooden building diagonally across the police station. I remembered, in my younger days, this run down building used to be a clinic offering free medical care to the village folks. The building used to be in green colour. My late mother used to use bicycle to ferry to the clinic to seek medical care whenever I am not feeling well. The building is now in such a neglected state, what a waste.

We went back to the hotel at around 6;00pm and decided to have dinner at the hotel at around 8:00pm. After that, we adjourned to the nearby mamak coffee shop to have the tarik and roti canai. We called it a day slightly after mid night.

The next day, after having a light breakfast at the mamak coffee shop, we went to the school at around 7:30AM.

We were welcomed by the school principal, the parents teachers association members, and some members of the old boys association. After signing the guest book and some chit chat at the principal's office, we were ushered to the assembly ground where the “Majlis colours Day” were held.

After speeches by the principal, the president of the parents teachers association, and the president of the old boys association, I presented my speech also. While I was on the rostrum looking at the students assembled in the field, I suddenly realized, more than 30 years ago, I was also standing at the same spot looking out to the podium wondering where I would be in the years to come. Well, it looks like I had went round the globe and back to my alma mater to seek acknowledgement that, at least I completed a loop in my journey of seeking enlightenment.

The following was my speech :

Good morning to the honorable emcee, the respectable principal of SMK King Edward VII, Mr. Yahya Bin Liman, the worthy YDP of PTA, Tuan Haji Ali Akhbar, the honorable President of the Old Edwardian Association, Taiping, Mr. Mohaideen, senior assistants, teachers and beloved students.

I would like to extend my appreciation on the willingness of the Colours Day Celebration Committee to invite me to this meaningful event. I would also want to congratulate the school administrators and all the SMK King Edward VII committee for successfully continuing the Colours Day tradition annually. This event is really significant to all the students who have contributed in upholding the good name of the school in the co-curriculum fields involving sports, games and uniform unit at the district, state and national level.

My fellow young tigers,

Colours Day is a very prestigious event which is held only by certain elite premier schools in our country. As far as my knowledge is concerned, SMK King Edward VII Taiping is the only school in the district of Larut Matang and Selama which successfully celebrates the event every year.

Here, I would like to congratulate those students who are awarded with the Full Colour Award and Half Colour Award for their excellent achievement in the co-curriculum activities. I wish that the accomplishment attained will motivate other students to put more efforts towards the success in the co-curriculum fields they engaged in.

Ladies and gentlemen,

In his speech just now, the Principal did explained about the success accomplished by the students in the domain of sports, games, uniform unit and societies. We are so proud that the good name of this school is highlighted at both state and national level. It is undeniable that SMK King Edward VII is a premier school that is not only well-known in the Larut Matang and Selama District but also in the Perak state. SMK King Edward VII is a warrior and champion in the sport like rugby, and the great name of the school is enough to frighten the opponents in any competition. May this tradition of excellence remain in the coming years.

My fellow young tigers,

Let me digress a bit, about a year ago, I was diagnosed with advanced stage Cancer of the Pancreas. The doctor has quietly told me that I had less than 6 months of sands left in my hour glass. When the carpet was suddenly pulled from under my feet, I was alone and in despair, but the Tiger spirits within me fought back and roared. Today, more than 12 months later, I am still standing in front of all you living my life to the fullest. You know why ? Because we are all Tigers. The road ahead maybe difficult, but a true tiger will never quit, always fight back with dignity and pride to overcome life's obstacles and adversaries.

Under the shadow of this great name, SMK King Edward VII, you are privileged to be given opportunities to acquire a sound educational and character building foundation. I believe, this acquired foundation shall prepare you to be Greater Than Before, and shall stand you in good stead in the years ahead to bring glories to the school and to yourselves.

Before I end my speech, I would like to take this opportunity to wish good luck to all the SPM and STPM candidates. For the form 3 students who have just finished their PMR, I wish that all of you may pass the tough exam with flying colours.

I would also like to advise all the students to balance their involvement in the co-curriculum activities by not neglecting their academics. There is no easy path to success. Every dream and success requires efforts and high fighting spirit.

Last but not least, , I launch the Colours Day Celebration today.

Thank you.

After the speeches, certificates and colours were presented to the students who excelled in sports and co-curriculum activities.

After the ending of the Colours Day ceremony, I was invited to officially launch the new scout den. In my younger days, I was an active scout in the school. So, I was more than happy to officiate the new scout den.

After completing the “business” in the school, we went to another famous cendul store in Taiping – Ansari Cendul, to have another bowl of cendul before we hit the road to go back to Subang Jaya.

To Muzz, Eng Hong, Alex, Siva, and Mohaideen, thank you very much for making trip to Taiping memorable for me.

Magni Nominis Umbra, I shall be Greater Than Before..............

A blessed journey ?

It seemed, I had my fair share of “near to death” experiences. Am I really destined to to have the privilege to stare at death at its edge and escape its inevitable. I escaped twice, but now I am back to square one again fighting for my life. Perhaps, the Almighty always has its sense of humor in illustrating the fragility of life.

Well, I could run away from the physical beings such as a robber or murderers. I could also run away from fatal mishaps or accidents by being more careful. But if the enemy is within you, something that grows from your within, something that instigate your cells to mutate to slowly steal the sands from your hourglass, how do you fight the odds ? Will I be lucky again this time around ? I don't know. I leave it to fate and the Almighty to decide my expiry date. If I overstayed my welcome in this humanistic journey, by all means, let the phrase ring out loud and clear - "In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.". I have lived a meaningful life, and I shall have no regret to return to the garden of the Almighty.

Come to think of it, if death is not part of human journey, would we still treat life as precious and valuable ? Would we become the lower species in the animal kingdom where our daily existence is to kill and be kill in our continue saga of survival ? But we are human being. We are, as usual, naively optimistic in our quest to understand the physic of immortality and the geometry of eternity to justify our stupidity in our never ending quest to glorify our existence. Maybe we should go back to basic to live a simpler life and have more faith in the Almighty. Perhaps then, our life will be happier and more meaningful.

While we accept the fact that life is journey where death is a certainty. But, it is the uncertainty of the hour and day of death that frighten and torment us. The mind is a dangerous playground ! Sometimes, I do wonder and do my wanderings in this playground juggling my hopes, despairs, and fears to make sense of my being. Well, what else can I say ? I am, after all, a deluded soul still indulging in mental masturbation to seek enlightenment and a purpose in life.

“Behold the birds of the heaven, that they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; and your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are not ye of much more value then they? “ ( Matthew 6:26) Well, whatever it is, why worry about life and death ? Carp Diem, let's live one day at a time, the rest, the Almighty will take care for us........

Praise the Lord.....

Reflections : Life with Cancer

When I was told that I had cancer at the pancreas, my mind went blank. I refused to believe, in a state of denial, and at the same time in silent despair. Words simply can not describe how I felt over the next few days. For the first time in my life, I never felt so alone and helpless. For the first time in my life, in the quietness of the night, when I was alone, I cried.

I realized, I must come to term with the reality. I still need to be the pillar for my family. I simply cannot allow my weaknesses and negative emotions affect the emotional well beings of my wife and children. Life must go on, I must be strong for them, and that's life.

I know this is a beginning of a tough journey to restore my health. Whether I overcome this illness or not, one thing for sure, life would never be the same again for me. I pray to the Almighty to give me a second chance to restore normalcy to my life.

I count my blessing that during my times of difficulties, my relatives and friends rallied to support me. I felt so lucky to have my family showering me with prayer, care, concern, and love. It is also during this period that I discover my inner strength to confront and manage my health problem. I am proud of myself for the courage and rationality to face the consequent with objectivity. At the same time, on the day to day basis, I also felt a very strange calmness within me in dealing with pains, anxieties, and uncertainties. I know, the Almighty has sent his angels to surround me and guide me through my time of difficulties. He makes way for me when everything seemed so hopeless. I praise the Almighty for his grace and generosity. Putting rationality aside, I know, I must now also have greater faith in the Almighty.

Over the previous two week, I had also felt the miraculous power of the Almighty. I am humbled by the good blessings he bestowed on me. I have not seen Lord Jesus, But I BELIEVE he will guide me to embrace a new purpose in life, and to be a better man.

In the past, I had been arrogant in dealing with matter before me. I had always look at life at the my own perspective, at my own convenient, and my own interpretation of rationality. Between faith and reason, spirituality has always been the last of my priority. In this regard, on my bended knee, I humbly seek forgiveness from the all loving Almighty and Lord Jesus Christ.

October 28th 2008 shall be a very meaningful day for the rest of my life. On this day, I accept and surrender myself to Lord Jesus Christ. This shall also be a new beginning for me to acquire new wisdom in life, and new determination to heal my body and soul.

I know, it is going to be a long road ahead in my quest to regain my health. Come what may, I will face the best of times, and the worst of times with courage and positivities. I know, with greater control of my mind, and stronger faith in spirituality, I shall overcome. That's life.......

A moment to reflect

Age must be catching up on me. Of late, my mind has been involuntarily and unconsciously drifted into the past trying to connect present events to past happenings. These has happened too often. My wife called it day dreaming, and as a positive person, I called it reflections of life. Or am I slowly drifting into senility ? Could this be part and parcel of human's journey, where, when you grow older, you tend to make sense of the growing urges of spiritual belongings ? In search of truth in life ?

Somehow, strangely, I am beginning to have a liking to listen to FM radio. And equally surprising, I am also beginning to like the late Teresa Teng's song and all those so called golden oldies. And habitually, I had acquired the liking for flipping through those those old photographs, allowing them to flicker my memories. Those old photographs remind me of the various stages of my journey in Life; graduation from the university, my marriage, birth of my children, birthday celebrations, and holidays.

When I was young, my dad used to tell me, to be successful in life, I must have dreams, and lots of dreams. But on the practical side, in order to have a dream, I must go to sleep first. So, as a result, I end up having many good night sleeps. Well, I guess as I grow older, time is also running short. There are no point having too many dreams and ending up accomplishing nothing significant. I will have to stay awake now to make do with what I have, and live life to the fullest. In the mean time, I always believe, whatever I am destined to be, this journey of life will lead me there. If something is meant to be, it will be.

All those years of overjealously protecting my children's growing up and the desires to see them becoming independent has bear results. My children are now fiercely independent, but I am now living like a commander with no soldiers to take my instructions. A commander who overcame most of life challenges and pitfalls, now must graciously adapt into a new role and the transition into another phase of life as an observer rather than the driver.

Whether I like it or not, at the end of the day, life will always be a lesson imperfectly learned. Life by itself, is not intended to be a journey of gliding safely to the grave in a pristine and well-preserved body. It is a roller coaster ride ! I would love to be able to shout out “ Wow, what a ride !” before I let go off my last breath.

Ah... another lunch time's incoherent ranting ! Whatever it is, I do wish all of you a good day ahead.........

Dancing with the shadow

Sometimes I do wonder why I am so preoccupied with so many things. I made too many plans and left with too little time to execute those beautifully crafted plans. My perverted mind is too preoccupied with the problems of others, and I end up with too many baggage to shoulder on.

How oxymoronic I am ! At times, I told myself, no body owed me a living and neither do I owed anybody a living. I want to let go of all burdens and responsibilities, enjoy and pamper myself with every little luxury I can afford, but at times I unnecessarily embraced myself with obligations and responsibilities to ensure the well beings of others.

I want to lead a spiritual life, but I also treasured my materialistic luxuries and the privilege to indulge in occasional erotic perversions and sinful containments. When spirituality gets too close to my state of being, I fought to disengage the link to the other dimension. When I am too comfortable with materialistic gains, I choose to be charitable to seek closer affinity to spirituality. I am attracted to the law of abundances but I am also attracted to the zen of nothingness and emptiness. As it is, because of my neither here nor there attitude, I end up neither rich nor poor. I can afford to acquire what I do not want, but I cannot afford what I want. How ironic ! My only wish is, the almighty grants me enough for today, and let me not worry about tomorrow.

Occasionally, I do have the funny feeling that, if I go to bed tonight, what assurance do I have that I can wake up alive tomorrow morning ? Life is like a funny poker game, we really do not know when we will be forced to show hands. But whatever it is, happy or sad, success or failure, and come what may, the future will still remain dictating its on outcome. Can we really control the futures ? But one thin for sure, we can definitely ruined the future if we worry too much about the present. So, why not I live for today, and stop indulging in unnecessary worries or making too many plans for tomorrow, and day after tomorrow….. ?

We said, God is all loving, but we conduct killings in the name of God! We want to gain wisdom, but we feared growing old ! We want to be kind, but we consoled ourselves that, in order to be kind, we need to be cruel ! We want to be a good person, but we acknowledged that, we need to be nasty to get things done ! The law of relational theory states that, we need two negatives to make one positive. So, mathematically speaking, in order to be good, we need to be doubly bad.

Life, how ironic it is ? We are, after all, a bunch of oxymorons wandering like lost souls on this blue marble called earth.

Well, it is about time for me to go to sleepzzzzzz. I will end my day with a good thought, and tomorrow, if I ever have the opportunity to wake up alive, I will start my day with a good thought also……

Om Mani Pedme Hum..... Good NiteZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

81 years old man cycle 2000 miles to raise money for charity !

W.J. Bill Anderson of Yuma was born on June 25, 1926, in Yuma, Arizona. This 81-year-old man has set off on a 2000 miles bicycle ride around the perimeter of Arizona. He is expected to complete the trip in 14 to 16 days. He is riding to raise money for Yuma's Crossroads Mission, which provides shelter, meals, showers and clothing to the homeless..... READ FURTHER.

In his own way, Bill Anderson shows us the true spirit of humanity - love, compassion, and kindness. I guess we should emulate Bill Anderson's deeds of glorifying life's moral and ethical values of helping the less fortunates.

Shame on all those able young men and women who willingly allow themselves to be misguided with hatreds and using God's name to conduct insane killings and murders of innocent people. Life is not about imposing revenges based on misguided and misplaced hatreds. Life is definitely not about satiating urges for bloods of innocents on your hands. Life is about giving, forgiving, peace, and love. May God soften the heart of these criminals of humanity, and may God give these criminals a rational and reasonable brains to appreciate peace, love, self respect, and respect for others.

Mr Anderson, Sir, with my right palm on my left chest, I salute you for your kindness, love, and compassion for fellow human beings. May God bless you with good health and good life.

Om Namo Amithaba Buddha....

Sense and sensitivity....

A reader of this blog send me a private email wanting me to publish a photograph of myself. Well, request granted. See the attached photo which was taken during the year of the Pig (2007). And, he also want to know "what I like and dislike".

Well, one thing for sure, I am a news junkies ! I read a lot of news daily from many sources. So, I guess I am a very balance person in terms of understanding the issues at hand. I am not an ignorant and easily influenced fool like what you think.

I like to criticize but also like to look at things at a humorous and sarcastic perspectives. What I dislike ? Definitely, I do not LIKE others to criticize me ! I would like to live an arrogant life, because, this is an insane world anyway. Aren't all of us are like that ? But if you still insist on criticizing me, that is also alright with me. Because, I do sincerely believed, as much as I insist on my right to criticize others, you must also be accorded the same rights to not only criticize me, but also other things that you are in disagreement with.

Oh yah, another thing that I DISLIKE, I do not like to take side. I love to sit on the fence and stay out of other people's conflicts, after all, it is none of my business to get involved in other people's affairs. A bit deviation into middle east politics..... As much as I empathized with the sufferings of the Palestinians, I also sympathized with the plights of the Israelis. As much as I feel the pains of the Iraqis, I also understand the frustrations of the Americans and British's forces in helping the Iraqi government to maintain law and order. Please do not feel offended if I refuse to allow myself to take side with you in matters that I believe we should all stay neutral. And, If ever I take side, please learn to respect my rights to make my stand even if my position is in conflict with your preferences.

On sensitivity ? Okay, my personal opinion and experiences dictate to me that only INSENSITIVE people always perceived themselves as being the aggrieved parties. So, why bother so much with issues of sensitivity ? Please go ahead and speak your minds without fear and favour. If you are right, you are right. If you are wrong, you are wrong. How complicated can life be ?

The bottom line is, I am what I am. And you are what you are. That's what makes this world interesting. If you think that I am a monkey. You are right ! No big deal. What's wrong with being a monkey ? Sometimes I do think I am a BIG MONKEY. Just like you ! In fact, I do occasionally think that I am the father of all monkeys. By the way, if you believe in Charles Darwin's theory, than I, as a monkey, could be your ancestor. I used to swing from tree to tree shouting incoherent words. But now I am a bit educated, I used my keyboard to conduct shouting in coherent words. So, I know it is difficult, but please learn and try to show a little respect to this monkey......

But despite being a monkey, I want all of you to know, I am also a very noble monkey. While peeling banana skin and sucking on my banana, I love to read poems and read subjects on humanity. And, as a God fearing monkey, I know monkey like me don't resort to violences and killing each others for the sake of imposing my values on other monkeys. If monkey like me can appreciate humanity, justice, fairness, equality, and respect human rights, can't you also do the same to others ?

And, who are we again ?


( Note : Sincerely, no insensitivity is intended by this posting to any "religiously" inclined people or religions. And, hopefully, today is not a day of any religious significant that may rendered this posting to be religiously offensive and insensitive. If you felt offended by this posting, please take your nasi lemak's apology and grievance seeking elsewhere !!! )