Death be not proud ?

A Journey,
on a road
that was so bumpy,
on a path
that was less traveled.
My dream, my dream,
so near, yet so far.
When would I be able
to rest my tired body ?

At times,
my dreams went wandering,
on a garden
that seemed so transitory
and yet
withered in vain glory.......
My maker,
what is the purpose of life ?

I see a promised land,
that is so strange and cold.
It is so far,
yet it is only a breath away.....

As my strength withered,
what I inscribed in my heart,
would I be able to carry forth ?
Would my love and deeds
forever sparkles, shines, and wraps
the people I love ?
Will they understand the tears I shed ?

All those strange language,
that has been whispered into my ears,
I fear not.
I know, when death come,
there shall be peace.

Fragment from the past............

I remembered, many years ago, I rented a small single storey house in Sri Petaling at a rental of RM 280 per month, and my office was located in downtown Kuala Lumpur. As a result, I was a frequent user of the old Sri Petaling and Kuala Lumpur trunk road.

During those days, my salary was barely enough to cover my monthly expenses, but I managed. And, I felt lucky to at least have a job. I did work hard because I do not want to lose my job. Most of the times, I worked past normal office hours. Usually, by the time I am on the road home, it was probably around 10:00PM.

Thinking of those days does bring back some “pleasurable” memories.

I am not saying that the Police is corrupted. However, I do encountered many little experiences dealing with corrupted police personnel on the road. Without fail, if my memory served me right, every week, there would be at least one or two incidences of my vehicle being flagged down by the police during the night while I traveled from office to home. And usually, the policeman accused me of speeding ( even though I am cocksure that I am not speeding ), and it is always theirs words against mine. The police man will always end up asking me : “Mau Selesai ? “ ( which means – do you want to settled ? ). To cut a long story short, “selesai” here means you end up folding two RM10 notes, tucked in between your Driving license and National Identification Card, then passed it to the policeman. The police man will somehow expertly removed the money between the two cards, then return the cards to you. You are then free to carry-on with your drive home.

What if I refuse to “Selesai” with the policeman ? I did ask them this question before because I know I did not commit any traffic violation. The police man impressed upon me that, if I don't pay – up, they will escort me to the police station to make life miserable for me. Well, when you are tired and wanted to go home eagerly to rest, there is no point arguing with those uniformed bastards. I always paid up. Mind you, I am so experienced with this frequent encounters that I always keep 2 pieces of RM10 notes in my car compartment. Whenever I was stopped by the police on the same stretch of road, right or wrong, as soon as I wind down the window, I will just handover my diving license and National Identification Card together with RM20 in between to the policeman. Within minutes, the policeman will ask me to move on so that they can preyed on the next “victims”.

Sometimes, I end up paying more than RM 200 a month to those bastards in order to have a smooth passage home. I told myself, this can't go on indefinitely, and there must be a cheaper alternative. Bingo, I did found out a cheaper alternative ! I went to the Chinese shop specializing in selling joss sticks, etc to buy a few stack of “Hell Notes”, folded them carefully to make them look like RM 10 notes.

On the next incidence I was stopped by the police, I confidently slipped the Hell Notes between my cards and passed it to the police. Surprisingly, they just accept it and let me move on. Before I start my car engine, I always say a silent prayer, the prayer goes something like this “may you bastard have the early opportunity to use the note in hell”. Miraculously, after 2 further incidences, I was never stopped by police again. Buddha does work in a miraculous way. I presumed those uniformed bastards either never dare to station themselves on that stretch of trunk road to demand bribes, or they already end up in hell with a bundle of useless hell notes !


Thinking back, those early incidences do ingrained a negative perception of our police force in my mind. Until today, I do have my doubt on the integrity and honesty of the police force. Whatever they said, I will have to take their words with many pinches of salts.

Whatever it is, I guess, my prayer and my little creativities does work ! The moral of the story is, do not wronged a Buddhist, you may end up in hell !

Namo Amithaba Buddha.....................

Moving on ?

The week that was has been eventful and tiring. Work wise, the environment in the office has been a source of constant irritants. I had been planning to change the office business model in anticipation of handover in early 2009. I figured, the best way for me to exit is to reposition the company, simplify process, and evolve a new business model. In the process of doing so, it caused some instability among personnel. I am amazed that for such a small office, there are so much politics. I guess, in any office, at times, different priority and different expectation do give rise to unhealthy office politics.

Over the past one month or so, I had a staff who has been taking half day leave to attend job interview elsewhere. As a management personnel, I believe it is the rights of the staff to seek job elsewhere to upgrade his career. As the Chinese saying goes, it is better for me to “close one eye”, and approve whatever leave the staff need, to attend whatever job interview he can secured. I even gave good references to that particular staff. I honestly believed the particular staff is incapable to be trained due to his limited technical skills, lack of initiative, and indiscipline. I just do not want to waste my my time with him because I do not think he can fit into the new business model. I figured, it is better for me to invest in new people than to cultivate tolerance to problem personnel.

In “closing one eye”, I regretted that I had indirectly contributed to the negative working environment in the office. The particular personnel developed the arrogance of insubordination thinking that he is indispensable to the company. He even approach my administration department to open brag about his job interview and impose himself to demand salary increment. Stupid fella barking at the wrong wall to seek salary increment, and in the process, created unneccessary animosity for himself. As far as I am concerned, I will only adjust compensation package based on performance evaluation and direct frank discussions. For the time being, I am in no mood to award uncommitted personnel. And definitely, I am in no mood to retain people who I believe no longer fit into my new business plan. I had been in this industry for so many years, I am definitely confident to believe that nobody is indispensable. So, I call the personnel up to have a friendly discussion to seek his agreement to resign. Because, I honestly believed it would be much better off for him to move on his career with other organization. Not a bad discussion after all, a win – win situation, he agreed to resign, and I have one less hindrance in my new business plan.

Like I said before, I am a salmon on reverse journey. I just want to make my simpler and easier. I had made up my mind to handover the company in 2009, I will do the necessary to make my exit easier, whoever stand in my way will be subtly removed – without stress, without fear, and definitely without tears.

Looking at things as it is, I guess I am way out of schedule, but I will manage and adapt to move on. I will take on the problem one day at a time, whatever will be, will be.

Now less digress a bit, I received a cute email on Saturday morning from a friend. Well, the content of the email does bring me back to my senses of humanity. Here goes the content of the email :

I will be there.

If one day you feel like crying,
Call me.
I don't promise that I will make you laugh,
But I can cry with you

If one day you want to run away--
Don't be afraid to call me.
I don't promise to ask you to stop...
But I can run with you

If one day you don't want to listen to anyone...
Call me.
I promise to be there for you.
And I promise to be very quiet.

But if one day you call...
And there is no answer...
Come fast to see me.
Perhaps I need you.

Namo Amithaba Buddha, Good NiteZZZZZZzzzzzzzz.......

Of broken tooth......

I was told by wifey that there is an authentic Malay restaurant that serve good Malay foods in Klang. So, off I went with my wife and a good friend of mine to the restaurant for Saturday's lunch.

Without doubt, the food was good, and reasonably priced. In my eagerness to satiate my desires for hot and spicy foods, I accidentally chewed on a grain of sand ( or perhaps, a little minute pebble) that came with the rice. I broke my tooth. I can't imagine my tooth was so brittle that a tiny little speck of sand can break it.

I guess, I can make an issue and sue the restaurant owner for not exercising due care to ensure the rice they served are not contaminated with other unwanted residues. But would that made me feel better ? I guess, as a Buddhist, whatever will be, will be. I shall save my breaths, and acknowledge it as my karma. However, I swear, I will never eat in that restaurant again !

I don't hate dentist, but believe me, throughout my adult life, a dental clinic is the last place I would go. But, Buddha said, if you have a tooth problem, stop praying to imaginary God, go see a dentist ! So, I managed to make an appointment with the dentist on Sunday morning. The dentist inspected the damage, told me that the tooth was quite badly broken at the root. His professional opinion is to have a surgical extraction. A few anesthetic jabs later, what is left of the broken tooth was removed. The dentist gave me some pain killers just in case I need it later part of the day. And, I was poorer by RM 150 !

I was put on liquid diet for the whole of Sunday in order not to have any chances of solid foods causing further damage to the sore gums.

The Hokkiens used to say “ Boh geh sai, come too boo a lau chi bai !” This eventual possibility doesn't sound attractive to me. Well, too many teeth have gone missing in my fowl mouth, it is about time I start paying attention to oral hygiene to preserve what is still available. Otherwise, it is difficult to imagine that, one day, I will end up toothless.


Moral of the story is, Don't Eat Malay Foods ?

Salman Rushdie

Salman Rushdie wins "Best of Booker" award

LONDON (Reuters) - British author Salman Rushdie won the "Best of the Booker" prize on Thursday to mark the 40th anniversary of one of the world's most prestigious literary awards.

Read further HERE.

Congratulation ! Sir Salman Rushdie. May the Almighty grants you the talents to author more beautiful novels. Peace be upon you.