Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Night cometh....

On the bed I lie,
hallucinating in contentment of blissful solitude.
I saw myself wandering and riding the breezy winds,
twinkling high up against the dark night skies,
sparkling on wide open sea with never ending horizon.
My heart fills with pleasure,
my mind fills with never ending glee and hope.
Delightfully, I was drowned in enjoyment and desires,
for once, I reigned supreme in this free realm of nirvana.

When I ceased to be,
would I be in this state of serene illusion perpectually ?
The teary pains brought me me back to reality !
I saw papa smiling at me,
it was the saddest smile I ever saw !

I am still trying to grasp what is my state of mind,
and what was attacking me from within,
that put me in this state of illusion.

Reminiscing the past,
I realized, I am not what I wanted to be !
To my wife, a husband I was but never a lover.
To my children, a father I was but never a friend.
I am sorry.......

Life is, but a sweet dream I slept ?


KS Cheah said...

Bro, your strength in the face of adversity is a lesson to us all. Your clarity of thought is the beacon that guides your loved ones. You may think you are not what you want to be to them, but none of them would chose for you to be anybody else. Jeannie once told me; "We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them".

My thoughts are with you bro.

Extreme Power said...

be strong and keep busy taiping boy. Your passion is exemplery to many. Plan those things you missed and rekindle back the good old taiping life. Focus and nothing is impossible.