In Memory of My father
I stared at the computer screen aimlessly, trying to figure out where and how I can get financing for my IT project. Accidentally I reloaded my late father picture on the screen. My father passed away in 1994. After more than 10 years and 3 notebooks later, I still have a copy of my father picture in my computer. Ah Pa, you try to tell me something ? Father, I know, Next month will be the 11th years anniversary of your passing away.
A few days before my father passed away, he has asked me to be strong for the family and to take care of the family. I was too dumb then to be aware of the eventuality. I just brush his request aside asked him not to worry and take a good rest. My father was admitted to the hospital a day later. I went to the hospital to visit him, he was in unconscious state with tubes plugging into the mouth, nose, and hand. I doubted that he knew my presence. I did not knew the gravity of his illness, and I never have the opportunity to say a final goodbye to him. Now, whenever, I think of my father, I felt nauseated and my heart aching with grief and regret for not giving him the best medical care. In the earthly garden of God, I was not able to take good care of my father. I pray that God will take good care of my father in the promised land.
As redemption, I have tried my very best to complied to my father’s instruction, not merely as an act of obedience, but also as an act of due respect and indebtness to him. I have promised my father I will be strong, and I have never shed a tear in front of my family no matter how much I am overcome with emotion and grief. I have promised my father I will take good care of the family, I have never disregard my responsibilities no matter how difficult the situation is.
After my father passed away, I suddenly realized an irreplaceable loss. An emotional vacuum has been created in my heart. This sense of loss is something that beyond the description of words. You feel the guilt for everything you have not done for your father. I wished my father have a father like mine. I shall try my very best to be a good father to my children.
The funny thing is, at the age of 45, I am still emotionally attached to my father. I still felt the lost. I still need a father. But God has decided that my father deserved better treatment than what I am capable of, he took away my father. For those of you who still have parents around, please take good care of them before God make the decision for you.
A few days before my father passed away, he has asked me to be strong for the family and to take care of the family. I was too dumb then to be aware of the eventuality. I just brush his request aside asked him not to worry and take a good rest. My father was admitted to the hospital a day later. I went to the hospital to visit him, he was in unconscious state with tubes plugging into the mouth, nose, and hand. I doubted that he knew my presence. I did not knew the gravity of his illness, and I never have the opportunity to say a final goodbye to him. Now, whenever, I think of my father, I felt nauseated and my heart aching with grief and regret for not giving him the best medical care. In the earthly garden of God, I was not able to take good care of my father. I pray that God will take good care of my father in the promised land.
As redemption, I have tried my very best to complied to my father’s instruction, not merely as an act of obedience, but also as an act of due respect and indebtness to him. I have promised my father I will be strong, and I have never shed a tear in front of my family no matter how much I am overcome with emotion and grief. I have promised my father I will take good care of the family, I have never disregard my responsibilities no matter how difficult the situation is.
After my father passed away, I suddenly realized an irreplaceable loss. An emotional vacuum has been created in my heart. This sense of loss is something that beyond the description of words. You feel the guilt for everything you have not done for your father. I wished my father have a father like mine. I shall try my very best to be a good father to my children.
The funny thing is, at the age of 45, I am still emotionally attached to my father. I still felt the lost. I still need a father. But God has decided that my father deserved better treatment than what I am capable of, he took away my father. For those of you who still have parents around, please take good care of them before God make the decision for you.
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