Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves

A childhood friend of my mine who overcame personal tragedies had recently converted to Christianity. He was preaching to me his new found love and commitment to his new religion. He was cheerful, expressive, enthusiastic and packed with lots of positive energies. Perhaps Christianity and his recent attachment to spirituality has done him a lot of good. He was once bitter about his experiences dealing with deceitful friends and relatives. Out of curiosity, I asked him how he managed his past bitterness. He impressed upon me that he had learned to love his enemies, and make it a point to pray for those who wronged him. It is refreshing to see his 360 degree changed in personality and outlook for the better.

The power of religion can be miraculous and indeed changed a person. No medication is needed to alter hormonal imbalance of the body, or to suppress depressions. Come to think of it, spirituality, if accepted unconditionally, can be a very holistic cure to mental deficiency.

To those who are suffering from stress and emotional instabilities, perhaps, they should seek out religion and spirituality to remedy those negative mental state of mind. In the case of my friend, it worked very well for him. I presumed it may not worked for the majority, maybe for a small group of people. But a soul liberated from hatred and revenge is a soul saved.

Way before Christianity, the ancient Chinese did practice certain aspect of this cultured civility of loving thy enemies. This philosophy of life was best reflected by Confucius' saying of “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves” ( 冤冤相报何时了). In other words, let bygone and move on with life ? Perhaps, maybe we should adopt this ancient wisdom, and the world would be a much better place to live.

The Cantonese has a common saying that “If the sky fell on you, use it as a blanket to keep you warm” ( 天塌下來當毯蓋 ). For better or for worst, in good times or bad times, ill intent people can do whatever they want against you. These are their rights. Their actions are beyond our control, why should we bother ourselves with all these unwarranted and unproductive actions ?

Human being are born with criminal minds and animal instincts. It is always easy to forget the good deeds of others, and easy to remember those deeds that wronged us. Human minds are dangerous playground, between forgetting and remembering, our inner self has a tendency to hold on to things that wrong us that eventually breeds contempt, hatreds, and urges for revenge. The question is, when confronted with these negative urges, how do you manage it, and dissipate it into insignificant ? I have come to term with the fact that, different people had different morality, and are motivated by different values. It is not my mission to save the world. I don't know about others' intentions, the need to be accountable and responsible for my own actions are my bigger life mission than to react negatively to unwarranted and ill intents actions.

Why would a sane man allows himself to carry unnecessary emotional baggages that cause him to be unhappy and emotionally burdened to face the real world ? At my age, I am already on reversed journey home. I want to go home feeling happy and have a sense of achievement of life well lived. I would like to walk the middle path, learn to forgive, forget, let it be, and move on with life.

Now, if you think that I had been unfair to you, you are probably right, because a selfish and narrow minded person will always resort to blame others for their failures and wrongdoings. I respect your rights to live with hatreds and burdened with urge for revenge. Now, GIVE ME YOUR BEST SHOT !!!!!

I will pray for you.... Namo Amithaba Buddha.