Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Bits & Bytes (2) ....

This week, I am on the third week of 3DCRT. As of today, I have received 13 sessions of 3DCRT, and there are 18 more sessions to go. So far, the side effects or discomforts encountered are occasional diarrhea, nausea, occasional constipation, abdominal pains, back pains, and loss of appetite. On the physical front, I felt extremely tired and weak, this is probably due to the fact that, my body now need to exert extra energies to repair all the coll damages to the healthy cells due to radiation. I am beginning to encounter weakness in my left leg and left arm. So now, I also need to be extra careful when climbing stairs and doing my normal walking exercise.

Due to my lacked of taste or loss of appetite for food, I am still struggling to arrest and maintain my weight loss. I am now weighing at about 65KG, which means, over a period of about a month, I have lost another 10KG in weight. I do hope this weight loss will not become another major health issue for me.

After 13 sessions of 3DCRT, I do not know whether the physical size of the tumor has been reduced or shrunk. However, the cancer marker test done last Friday show a 20% reduction. I hope, at least the size of the tumor are shrunk proportionately.

Well, it's been almost a year managing and dealing with treatment issues. I had been hopping in and out of hospital, enduring the discomforts and side effects, coping with the emotional ups and downs of my state of being, etc. It's been a long and frustrating journey on the road to recovery. I do sincerely hope I still have the mental strength and stamina to run the last mile. I am actually very tired of all these unintended nonsenses. Honestly, sometimes, I do think the mighty God is a pervert – He enjoy watching good guys suffering..........

Last Sunday, my son drove me to the national zoological park to practice photo shooting skills. In fact, since I was diagnosed with this illness, my son has been trying his level best to spend more times with me. At his teenage years, I hardly spend time with him. I always took it for granted that I will always have time for him on another day, but too many “another day” passed by. By the time I realized it, he is already a young man busy with his own career. I am so glad that I am now given another opportunity to establish a closer relationship with my son now.

Anyway, I did have a good time at the Zoo shooting photographs and discussing techniques with my son. AT least some outdoor activities and interests can at least keep my mind out of being indulging in fearing the discomforts and unknowns of this dreaded illness.

On our way back from the zoo, while driving, my son asked “ Dad, how do you feel today ?” A simple question, but it does made me realized that, this young man sitting next to me, is indeed now a fine gentleman, sensitive to the emotional needs of his father. I gently tapped his hand and replied “ I am so happy today.......”

Yes, I am so happy because I had been blessed with a good son.............

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