Thursday, November 06, 2008

Reflections : Mission almost accomplished.....

My son finally qualified to graduate from his Bachelor of Science program. I certainly look forward to attend his graduation ceremony in January 2009. He has also secured a job in a software development company, and will be starting his new job in mid November 2008.

I guess, the greatest joy of fatherhood is to see your children growing up, completing their college education, and starting their career. Hopefully, I can also have the opportunity to see them getting married, start a family of their own, and allow me the opportunity to hold my grandchildren on my lap.

Time flies. It seemed like only yesterday when I bottle feed my son, saw him crawl, standing up, taking the first step forward, etc. I can still remember his lovely, cute, and innocent smiles when he was a child. As a father, I had tried to devote all my responsibilities and commitments to caring for him and seeing to his needs. But there are also times during his early childhood where I was too busy to have time for him. But now, he has grown up, taller than me, and such a fine young man. Praise be with the almighty for blessing me with the opportunity to have the experiences of bringing up a child into adulthood. What a relief to see my son now having the capability to take the first step of adulthood in starting a career on his own. A father will always has hope for his son. Likewise, as a father, my only hope is, he can have the sensibility to maintain his health, work hard to develop his career, be responsible toward his family, and most important of all, has the wisdom to balance his time between family, friends, and career. Whatever it is, in order for him to develop his full potential, I have to learn to let him go to venture out on his own. I do hope, mentally, I am prepare to accept this reality and eventuality.

Since I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, my son has been trying hard to conceal his feelings. From a rebellious teenager, suddenly, he tried his level best to be responsive to me in a very awkward manner. Gone are all those immature and childlike behaviors. He has been trying to act tough, to grow up, and behaved like a responsible adult. Well, a father will always knows what is in his children's minds. I thank the Almighty for guiding my son to the right path. Honestly, seeing my son “growing up” is indeed a magical experience for me !

Is my responsibilities toward my son over ? Well, I guess as long as I still hold the last breath, my son will always be my responsibilities. The only different now is, I need to change my approach when dealing with him. Instead of giving him instructions on what to do like I used to, now it is more appropriate for me to act as his advisor, giving my opinions only when he requested them. And to have my door open for him whenever he needs me in a supporting role. Perhaps, maybe it is the right time for him to slowly take over his financial responsibilities such as paying for his car installments, insurance premiums, etc.

As a father, I know, his time will come, he will be successful in his own right and at his own terms. I do hope I can live long enough to see the day and share the joy of his success with him. But I also know, cancer is a terminal disease, and I do have doubt of my availability when the time comes. Whatever it is, I will fight with determination and discipline to restore my health. I will always be there for him, and I will not let him down. The almighty has given the greatest gift of my life, and I know, he Almighty will also grant me the opportunity to pass my parents' wisdom to my son, and cherish his accomplishment in the future.

I look forward to the day when he no longer need me anymore. Because, when that happen, I know, he will be a man of his own, ready to move on with his life, and my mission accomplished.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Congratulation on your son's graduation Indeed it is rather long time that i didnt call to Irene and ask about you. Anyway how is your health? Able to take any food
Penny Poh

Kit Ying said...

I believe you have done a great job as a loving father and have always put your son's interest above everything else. I can see the pride and joy over your son's graduation and getting his first job. I share this joy with you but more so in your positive attitude and hope for the future. May the Good Lord bless your heart's desire and grant you healing. Continue to pray daily and develop a strong relation with our Lord Jesus. God loves you! So do we!
Kit Ying

Anonymous said...

Hi Uncle

Im coming over to visit you next month! Stay strong and congratulations on Kah Lun's graduation.

Christine