Round 8 : It's done...
I had been in and out of the hospital too frequent, so much so that I am already very familiar with every little details of the surroundings. One of these day, the hospital will have to hire me as their maintenence manager, otherwise it would be a great loss to the hospital's management. I guess, even if I am blindfolded, I will still be able to maneuvering around the hospital to go to the cafeteria, the laboratory, and the treatment room !
How do I feel about going to the hospital ? Well, my familiarity with the hospital and treatment procedures bred indifferences. I no longer have the fears of going to the hospital to seek treatment. I am also no longer see the benefit of indulging in anxieties and hope. To a certain extend, every time before I go to the hospital, I just tell myself, what the hecks, let's just get there, and do whatever the good doctor prescribe. Well, that's right, let just go to the mountain top, and from there, access the beauty of the valley. Let your deluded mind imagine how lush and green is the valley ! Yes, that lone, green, and lush valley stretches far away. It is the food of my mind and the future domain of my soul - It is the garden of the Almighty. The Almighty's creation is indeed beautiful.
As usual, I did my blood test today, done with my physical examination of pulse rate, blood pressure, and tumor sensing, and finally intravenously administered the cocktails of chemo drugs. I was also prescribed with another 30 days of Tarceva to be taken orally to compliment the chemotherapy. No surprises, and everything went on smoothly. The funny thing is, after so many times of being administered with chemo drugs intravenously, I still have some minor phobia of needles ! What I did this morning is, when the good doctor is about to insert the butterfly shaped needle into my hand, I imagined a beautiful bright coloured butterfly landing softly on my palm, caressing and kissing my palm seeking permission to deliver goodness into my body. How can my deluded mind reject such wonderful offering from the creation of the Almighty ? I accepted the offer and off I go into another 2 hours of slow drippings.......
The good doctor also suggested I come back to the hospital in another three weeks time for assessment of my progress and plan treatment strategy for the next step of actions. Well, it looks like I will have to dig trenches for the long battle to come. Whatever it is, I have faith that, things will work out eventually.
Looking back, I am indeed amazed that I have courageously went through 7 months of difficult journey of recovering my health. Indeed, the Almighty has been indeed graceful in leading me to conquer fears, gaining strengths, manage anxieties, and blessed me with abundance hope to shoulder on. I am no longer obsessed with the sentimentalism of the pasts, neither am I obsessed with the achievements of the future. I will live life as it is, as it come, and follow the flows...
Well, what else can I say ? It's been an amazing journey of self discovery and enlightenment. I am now embarking wonderingly into a journey to my soul, and, the journey has just begun...... Spiritually speaking, is this a breakthrough, or potentially a future breakdown? Whatever it is, it doesn't really matter what the outcome is going to be, I have faith in the Almighty, and I am going to rejoice life NOW. Or perhaps, I already achieved enlightenments but refused to acknowledge it ? Ha. ha... I know sometimes I am moronically insane !
It is still a wonderfully world out there, and I am going to smell the roses, enjoy the fresh air of the morning, and feel the warm of the morning sunshine..... That's life !
How do I feel about going to the hospital ? Well, my familiarity with the hospital and treatment procedures bred indifferences. I no longer have the fears of going to the hospital to seek treatment. I am also no longer see the benefit of indulging in anxieties and hope. To a certain extend, every time before I go to the hospital, I just tell myself, what the hecks, let's just get there, and do whatever the good doctor prescribe. Well, that's right, let just go to the mountain top, and from there, access the beauty of the valley. Let your deluded mind imagine how lush and green is the valley ! Yes, that lone, green, and lush valley stretches far away. It is the food of my mind and the future domain of my soul - It is the garden of the Almighty. The Almighty's creation is indeed beautiful.
As usual, I did my blood test today, done with my physical examination of pulse rate, blood pressure, and tumor sensing, and finally intravenously administered the cocktails of chemo drugs. I was also prescribed with another 30 days of Tarceva to be taken orally to compliment the chemotherapy. No surprises, and everything went on smoothly. The funny thing is, after so many times of being administered with chemo drugs intravenously, I still have some minor phobia of needles ! What I did this morning is, when the good doctor is about to insert the butterfly shaped needle into my hand, I imagined a beautiful bright coloured butterfly landing softly on my palm, caressing and kissing my palm seeking permission to deliver goodness into my body. How can my deluded mind reject such wonderful offering from the creation of the Almighty ? I accepted the offer and off I go into another 2 hours of slow drippings.......
The good doctor also suggested I come back to the hospital in another three weeks time for assessment of my progress and plan treatment strategy for the next step of actions. Well, it looks like I will have to dig trenches for the long battle to come. Whatever it is, I have faith that, things will work out eventually.
Looking back, I am indeed amazed that I have courageously went through 7 months of difficult journey of recovering my health. Indeed, the Almighty has been indeed graceful in leading me to conquer fears, gaining strengths, manage anxieties, and blessed me with abundance hope to shoulder on. I am no longer obsessed with the sentimentalism of the pasts, neither am I obsessed with the achievements of the future. I will live life as it is, as it come, and follow the flows...
Well, what else can I say ? It's been an amazing journey of self discovery and enlightenment. I am now embarking wonderingly into a journey to my soul, and, the journey has just begun...... Spiritually speaking, is this a breakthrough, or potentially a future breakdown? Whatever it is, it doesn't really matter what the outcome is going to be, I have faith in the Almighty, and I am going to rejoice life NOW. Or perhaps, I already achieved enlightenments but refused to acknowledge it ? Ha. ha... I know sometimes I am moronically insane !
It is still a wonderfully world out there, and I am going to smell the roses, enjoy the fresh air of the morning, and feel the warm of the morning sunshine..... That's life !
1 comment:
hang on,i am sure u will fully recovered soon.
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