Online Games Addictions
About two years ago, I discover my teenage son was spending too much time playing online game. The game was distributed “free for trial” by a online game company outside the school gate. Which I later found out that his over indulgence in online game is what we now commonly called “game addictions”.
To help my son gain back control, I did a lot of research on the net, talking to gaming companies, seeking spiritual guidance, etc. The bottom line is, you end-up receiving contradicting advises! you end up in a state of perpectual confusions and indecisions. It was the most painful period of my life as a parent.
I am not against online games. Online games is basically a form of cheap and fun entertainment if the player is in control of the time spend. But the reality is, how many teenager can have that kind of self control given the fact that they are easily led to believe that they can made lots of friends and gain more respect as the climb to higher ( and higher, and higher ) levels of the fantasy world. Whether we like it or not, playing online games for teenager can be addictive.
Just to share my experience, if your children are having the following behaviors, you need to watch out and intervene early :
- Sleeping in class, not attentive in schools, and not doing homework, skipping classes
- Feeling restless when not in front of computer,
- Neglecting family member and friends,
- Take quick meals and always rush back to the room
- Unable to stop playing the game and craving for more time
- Always look tired, sleepy, and disorganized
I have tried all soft approaches including diplomatic talks, negotiations, cut short my work hours to be at home early, etc. It just doesn’t work. Finally, I took the hard approach to disconnect the internet connections. But the problem is, his friend’s father took side with him and telling him that what he do is not wrong. Out of frustrations, I prohibit him from going to his friend’s house, withdraw him from the college, and curfewed him at home for three months. I believe he was very disappointed and shocked. Later I enrolled him into another college, put him up at the college’s hostel, and set my limits. This hard approach seem to work. For a start, he become more responsive and socialable.
I hope he will not go back to the online game habits. I am not an emotionally expressive person, but I do hope my son know how much I love him. I know it is impossible to know what he is doing all the time without being intrusive. Even if he does, I hope he is able to exercise control of his gaming habits. On my part, as a parent, I just have to keep up with times, to be in control and consistently firm with my actions. The rest, I leave it to God.
2 comments:
Dear Responsible Dad,
I came across your blog solely by accident while in the midst of work (researching games & gamers & gaming habits and new game titles for the company i work for) and i felt compelled to give some input.
I would consider myself a hardcore gamer still since back when i was a teenager up till now.
I'm a working professional now and i currently do marketing for an online game company, just to give a little background.
I feel your responsibility as a parent and i do understand how you feel. When i was a teenager i suffered the same thing like your kid. BUT you know what, games are not all that bad and most games are pretty educational. Looking on the positive side of gaming - most teenagers have managed to learn language be it written/spoken. Some games requires puzzle solving etc. There are also many mature games out there with really in depth story lines and mystery which keeps the brain thinking.
But i do agree a child should never be glued to the PC or TV (i don't watch TV btw)or any other entertainment of the like for too long as it may cause deterioration of the eyes, mind and lack of sleep.
What i would suggest is (my parents used to impose this on me), you set a time limit for your kid where you & him may agree upon (e.g. 3-4 hours a day or less depending on you). It's always a great thing to discuss together with your kid on situations like this so he/she will feel involved with decision making (so it will not sound like you have forced it down on him/her).
You may also want to opt for other educational or 'smarter' games that involves adventure & puzzle solving which helps with mind building. It's awesome.
Free online games commonly have chat abilities and they do have their own gaming community. You kid isn't really losing out on his social life - he is still communicating with other gamers whilst playing the game (only difference is, everything is virtual instead of physical).
Of course it is also none of my business on how you would educate your kid and you need not take my comments above seriously. I do believe you're a great father who's delivering his responsibility as a father and a friend to your kid.
Of course i realize that your post was 3 years ago so this may have been too late for me to comment anyways.
Salute.
It is true that gaming could shatter dreams, but it is also true that addiction to it is rooted on more deeper problem.
I love social networks, like gaming it is a form of entertainment. Children must understand that gaming is for entertainment, more that that, then the child is in anger.
As parents, there is a need for more time together. A lot of talk can open better activities to children that gaming.
Also, it could be wonderful if parents can play with them. It depends on how children would take it and how parents would use gaming - advantage or future problem.
Sarah
Parking Games
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