Thursday, May 07, 2009

Of prayers and healing...........

Of late, my hand phone and mailbox has been bombarded with a lot of “words of God” from well intended people. It has been indeed becoming very stressful to read all those SMSes and emails. To stay focus to my treatment strategies and keep my stress level to the minimum, I unsubscribed from all the egroups, set my hand phone to silent mood which naturally resulted in a lot of missed calls, and automatically delete all incoming SMSes. To a certain extend, this action helped me to attain certain level of peace of mind for the time being.

While I am battling my survival and dealing with the treatment issues, on almost daily basis, I was advised to have more faith in the almighty, and to conduct aggressive prayers to claim the healing verses of the scripture. I was even told that, the doctor can only treat signs and symptoms, but the ultimate healing comes from the Almighty. I believed, I am still a logical man. As much as I recognized the need to have greater faith in the Almighty, I must also acknowledge the fact that, healing comes from within, and modern medicines play a vital role in our struggle to recover from chronic illnesses.

Let me put it this way, I was and am sicked, is probably due to my weakened immune system. So the natural and logical action for me to pursue, is to consult and seek treatment from a qualified medical practitioners. Of course, offering prayers to the Almighty to seek divine intervention is another spiritual approach. But I failed to understand the need to conduct daily prayers. I have faith that the Almighty is a all knowing merciful God, and definitely he is not an absent minded God ! Times and repeatedly I was being reminded by well intended friends that because I did not offer prayer unceasingly on daily basis, I would be viewed as not having strong faith in the Almighty ! Well, if that is the narrow minded interpretation of how one perceived my relationship with, and my faith in the Almighty, then Amen, and so be it.

Believe it or not, it takes so much more faith and strength to recognized the fact that, healthy people can go around praising the Lord for their good health, and sicked people have to accept the fact that they have to continue to suffer in silent while the Almighty is testing their faiths. Forgive me, my heavenly father, I think this concept of spiritual relationship do at times sound very perverted to me. Nevertheless, as a God fearing person, I accept the fact that my sickness is a form of punishment the Almighty meted out to me for my previous sins. My life is created by the Almighty, it is his prerogative to take this life as and when he see fit. In the mean time, while waiting for the passage to paradise, it is my duty to have a sound mind to continue to seek treatments from the doctors, and live life as logical as possible.

Come to think of it, over the previous few months, I had been bombarded with a lot of spiritual advises to seek healing from the Almighty. At times, it is very stressful for me to reconcile this spiritual needs with modern medicines. One thing for sure, and I do know, to improve my chances of recovery, I must eliminate all possible sources of stress. So, for the time being, possibly over the next few month, I will adopt a secular lifestyle, and imposed self “exile” from spirituality. So, no more attending churches for the time being.

Of course, I am still faithful to the merciful Almighty. I will still pray to the Almighty in the privacy of my home and communicate to him as and when the needs arose. I don't think I need to be a hypocrite to showcase loud prayers or worships to the whole world. I believed, my heavenly father prefers to listen to me in the privacy of my own home.

Oh Almighty, forgive me if I sin, I am, after all, a logical man trying to be a spiritual man in a secular world.

明天會更好. Praise the Lord.......

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