Friday, May 22, 2009

Of treatments and spirituality.........

The previous two weeks or so, I had been affected by severe pains, discomforts, occasional constipations, and my appetite for foods was also affected. To make thing worst, too many spiritual advises also made me emotionally disturbed where I unnecessary lapsed into fear of the unknowns. I realized, when you lived in fear, you live life no longer, and there is no dignity to live a life of fear.

I made a decision not to attend church meetings, cut down visits from visitors, or any meeting that potentially can lasts more than half an hour, because it is very uncomfortable physically to sit through any meeting. My strategy is to have a quiet environment where I can have peace of mind, undisturbed, to contemplate my next course of actions. In the past, I used to received friends who are over jealous with their religious belief, advising me to surrender my faith to God, and the do's and don'ts. I am not disillusion with the power of the Almighty. But I do not think, one can just shout prayers after prayers, and irresponsibly leave our destiny to the Almighty to determine. I am responsible for my body, it is up to me to seek the best medical care to cure my illness.

To fight cancer, there are three fronts I need to explore – Body, Mind, and Spirit. I need to keep my body strong by ensuring my body is nourished with rights foods and exercises. I also need to consult medical experts on the medications and treatment strategies. With regards to Mind, I need to keep my mind free of negative thoughts, stay positive, and instill a will to overcome difficulties. Most important of all, I need to stay calm, not unduly anxious to confront events that unfold around me, just be a passive observer, and let thing happened and let them be. On the spiritual front, I acknowledge the power of the Almighty, having faith in the Almighty will definitely sooth my disturbed mind, but I also believe that the Almighty will only help those who help themselves. I will do all that are within my capabilities to seek treatments, and have a clear mind to make logical decisions. At the end of the day, if the Almighty wants to forsake me, then so be it, it is HIS prerogative. The important thing is, when all options are exhausted, I am accountable to myself, and I know, I have fought a good fight to regain my health, and I lived a life of dignity.

Times and again, I had friends who indirectly hinted to me that, the reason I am not healed yet is because my faith in the Almighty is not strong enough, where I need to surrender my self to the Almighty and forget about medical treatment. Well, it is not end of the road yet, people can make any conclusions they want, but it is my life. My faith in the Almighty is a personal relationship. The God within me is more powerful than the Gods fantasized by all those hypocrites. My illness is a consequent of my weakened immune system and my previous lifestyle, it has nothing to do with the Almighty. I had put myself in this messy medical situation, it is now up to me to resolve these issues logically. If I rely on the mercy of the Almighty and ignore the treatment options, at the end of the day, if I am not healed, can I blame the Almighty for false hope and promises ?

Life is tought and full of obstacles, but come to think of it, without all those bitter experiences, would we able to taste the sweetness of life ? It is through the difficult patches of life that we gained wisdom to live a meaningful life of no regrets. I count my blessing that I have a wonderful family and good friends who supported me during these difficult period. I also count my blessing that I still have an alert and sound mind to make logical decision.

Praise the Lord....


Anonymous said...

Now I begin to see you have thought it through and making the right choices.

It is a hard battle, but you can win by doing the right thing and moving in the right direction.

Eat the right diet
Exercise to detoxify
Boost your immune
Seek to cure medically
Make peace with life
Smile the smile and
Pray to GOD in private....

Your family love you, your true friend will support you all the way

Anonymous said...

Keep up the old spirit, old chap.
What got me real mad are the comments made by your religious friends or relatives that the reason why you are not recovering sooner from cancer is that you are not religious enough.
That is the biggest bull shit I ever heard in my life, and I think you should throw them out next time you see them.

There is nothing wrong with religion but the way some religious asses go around spreading their fanaticism drives me up the wall.
Some even try to use it for commercial gain. There was this case when my son & I visited the temple in old PJ to pray my departed parents at Cheng Meng. My sister's part time maid, a local Chinese in association with the temple, tried to sell prayers to my son. She proposed to my son that for 20 Rm a month, the temple would pray for his well being. To me, that's nuts.
Anyway my son replied..'I don't want it even for free.'

Keep up with your religious faithn in the Almighty. You are fortunate to have the ardent support of your family and some good friends.


Kit Ying said...

Dear CK
I understand your frustration of going through the pain and uncertainties. I am also upset by the way ill advice has been given to you and also the conclusions about the cause of your slow recovery. Of course the wisest decision is to follow the doctors'advice and not be vexed by too many unwelcome visits and advice. Your friends want to show their concern by their visits and if you could tell them gently that you find it had to sit through long visits, honestly tell them just to give you a call or mail or SMS. You need time to rest and recuperate and "entertaining" visitors may take a toll on you.
Anyway I am glad to be able to keep track of your condition through your blog and my church is praying for you.
You are strong and I believe you will be able to think through and make the best decisions for yourself

Anonymous said...

Ephesian 6:10Finally be strong in the LOrd and in his mighty power!! We are praying in agreement for god's healing over your entire being and for god to let you touch his clock.
Jeremiah 32:27 I am the LORD, the god of all mankind, is anything too difficulty for me.

Anonymous said...

You have spoken like a true wise man!!!!