Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Round Seven: The fight continues…..

Finally, after one week of delay, the Sixth chemotherapy was administered yesterday. The doctor has also prescribed a new oral chemo drug, Tarceva, to go with the current gemcitabine chemo drug. The additional chore I need to undertake is, to take the oral chemo drug everyday until my next treatment next month.

Since Tarceva needs to work with conjunction with the Gemcitabine drug, the doctor has advised me to go for an additional round of Chemotherapy next month. Ah… not again!!! I am beginning to get very frustrated with all these never ending affair of pumping my body with all those poison.

The progress report for the first 6th months of Cancer treatment is as follows :

  • A 19 days B17 alternative treatment protocol – Failed
  • Chemotherapies using concortion of gemcitabine, 5FU, frolic acid, etc.. The doctor said, the cancer is now under control. Well, there is still HOPE!!!
  • New regime of Gemcitabine and Tarceva ( yesterday and next month ) – I hope it can finish off all those mutant cells and tumor.

The ironic thing is, when I first started this chemotherapy session about six months ago, my initial reaction is FEAR! I feared the unknowns, the side effects, and the possibilities of treatment failures. But, as I progressed along the road to recovery, fear has become a normal and manageable part of this logical mind. What irritate me is, the frustrations to deal with negative results that are not to my expectations are slowly consuming my reasonable judgment. Slowly, I am becoming more impatient and moody. Like I said before in some of my previous postings, the mind is a very dangerous playground. So, by hook or by crook, I got to find someway to ease that negative emotionality and infused my mind with some positive energy.

I thank the Almighty for blessing me with the strength to overcome fear in dealing with day to day uncertainty. Most important of all, in going through this experience of managing the treatment regime, the Almighty has also blessed me with the power, love, and a logical mind to forgive, to love, and be loved. Overall, despite some minor setbacks, I would like to think of the previous six months as journey of enlightenment. It is indeed an amazing journey for this self proclaimed Oxymoron.

On the spiritual side, my wife said I must now have stronger faith in the Almighty, for HE is my Jehovah-Rapha, my healer. So, “Heal me, O Lord and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved; for thou art my praise” - Jeremiah 17:14

Praise the Lord.

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