Monday, August 07, 2006

By that dear name, I called you. Mother.


12 years ago, you did not bid us farewell.
Trembling in amazing calmness,
you move on silently, as gentle as the wind.
You departed to the garden of God.


With your strong wills and admirable determinations,
you have given us the spiritual and moral comforts.
You have laboured days and nights,
sacrificed your youth and beauty,
and unselfishly devote your love to all of us.

Without reclaiming your labour of love,
in the evening of warm October's air,
you made the solo journey to be with God,
to rest your tired soul.......
You left your legacy of love and the memories
which forever resides in my heart.

You have always said A man is a pillar to the family, and
"Tar Por Kia, Beh Sai Low Bug Sai...."
(" A man must not shed tears ")
I shall always tried not to show my emotions in sorrow and sadness.
But, in solitude, tears do flow freely recalling the images of you.
Sometimes, thinking of the life you went through,
I do hide in my room and silently cried in my heart.
Forgive me, I can not be a man of perpetual no sorrow....

I have not done enough to make your life passage smoother.
I have not done enough to make life more comfortable for you.
I always thought that, tomorrow, I can make it better for you.
I am sorry for the countless tomorrow's that you have waited
for me to deliver my duties as a son to you.
Tomorrow came, you are freed from pain,
in eternal peace, and you are gone forever.

I am sorry for being too blinded to see your pains,
I am sorry for not having the courage to accept that you are dying,
I am sorry for refusing to let you go.
I am forever indebted to you for thy love.....

By that dear name, I called you. Mother.
losing you is my life's greatest sorrow.
I missed you and cherished the memories of you.
Of those good times, not so good times,
and of those growing up years...

I seek your forgiveness
for everything that I should have done but procastinated.
I seek your forgiveness for not bidding you the final farewell.

Oh, my most merciful and gracious Buddha,
please accept my humble prayer to you,
please bless my mother's soul
to ease the attainment of grace and joys
in your garden of perpetual happiness.........

Om mani padmi hom, Om Namo Amithaba Buddha.....

3 comments:

Soul_Voice said...

The warm rays that you feel everyday, is not sunshine.

They are the touch of your mom's love, who wants to tell you she is watching over you with Love all the time.

The sea recedes--but leaves behind bright jewels sand.

May you cherish the beautiful memories shared together with her forever and find comfort and strength with those memories.

***Prayers of peace to your beloved mom***

BlackCoffee said...

Sincerely and from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for the sincere prayer of peace for my mother.

Not proud to say that, but I did cried after reading my own posting...

Tar por kia lau bug sai.....

Thank you so much for offering prayer for my mom.

Soul_Voice said...

For me, you have every reason to feel proud.
Not many people express their emotions, especially males.
Macho! it seems, but to me its their way of not accepting reality of life and death.
Shedding tears?
Nothing to be ashamed of, as long as you know what those tears are for.
There are those who do not even know how to cry!
Crying is a form of letting go and setting free for both parties.
That is what you have done and chosen.