Incoherent rantings.....
Life. What is life ? At times, in my time of difficulties, or in state of anxieties, this question never failed to crop up in my mind. My God, at my age, I still ponder on life and its intricacies ! I know, life is not about how much successes you tasted, but rather, how you face the adversaries. Ahhh... but it is easier said than done.
On many occasions, I tasted successes, and I love to brag about it. I guess, I am just like a lot of other average man out there. No profound achievements but seeking recognitions for that little so called successes that are of no significant to mankind. Looking back, it does gave me the realization that, successes are merely relative term of references from our ego comfort zones. I don't know how many comfort zones others have, I do have a lot of comfort zones.
On failures, I did have my fair share of failures, and I sincerely does not know how many are still ahead awaiting my stupidities. But one thing I do know from past experiences, failure happened because of my own inactions to take early action to get out from status quo, that is, my own comfort zone. In this regard, to me, failures are also relative experiences. They will caused some discomforts, but definitely not life threatening. So, don't worry, be happy... count your blessings to have the luxuries of experiencing failures that will eventually made you a better man. Don't get me wrong, I certainly do not welcome failures. But if it does come knocking at my door, I will face it with objectivity and rationality.
I guess, to have a "simplified" and contented life, I need to basically remove my so called comfort zones. My spiritual master used to remind me not to be afraid of change, not to be afraid of making drastic decision, and be more adaptive and reflective to my environment. I guess this is basically part and parcel of Buddhism's 3rd noble truth of removing the causes of anxieties or sufferings by adapting to a more transparent life. I will, I will for now.
Looking back, I did carry a lot of unnecessary baggages to the extend that I felt that it is everybody's destiny and purpose to take on and share the burdens of others. I went on a very thrifty lifestyle and gave away sigificant amount of what ever I have to help those I care and love. This has been going on for many years until I was jogged to my realization recently. An inconsiderate attempt was orchestrated against me by persons I care very much, and I was also accused of not doing more to help ! The final analysis is, the fault lies within me, I failed to see my own stupidities in helping ungrateful and greedy human beings. Greediness knows no bounds, and unsatisfied inconsiderate demands can indeed motivate a lot of emotional grievances and loopsided accusations. Whatever it is, I had have enough and do not care anymore, people can say whatever they want, and I shall do whatever I want to pursue a life rid of all those unneccessary involvements.
Who should I blame when I willingly open myself to be subjected to be abused ? If I don't understand this simple concept, then God must had made me very stupid. But God did indeed gave me a brain to understand the most complex computer system and financial arrangements, but when it come to matters of the heart, I am naively still a baby. Nevertheless, I count my blessings to be able to always overcome adversaries and came out unscratched. Finally, I am able to remove an emotional and financial obligations that I emotionally allowed myself to tangle in. What a relief ! It was indeed a blessing in disguise! I guess, from now on, I have to be more selfish and need to seriously identified those baggages and dispose them at appropriate times.
Like the Chinese said, good or bad, happy or sad, life does go on, and indeed it does ! Thank you God, for creating all those miracles around me. In thy name I bow my head to show my greatest respect........
Om Namo Amithaba Buddha
On many occasions, I tasted successes, and I love to brag about it. I guess, I am just like a lot of other average man out there. No profound achievements but seeking recognitions for that little so called successes that are of no significant to mankind. Looking back, it does gave me the realization that, successes are merely relative term of references from our ego comfort zones. I don't know how many comfort zones others have, I do have a lot of comfort zones.
On failures, I did have my fair share of failures, and I sincerely does not know how many are still ahead awaiting my stupidities. But one thing I do know from past experiences, failure happened because of my own inactions to take early action to get out from status quo, that is, my own comfort zone. In this regard, to me, failures are also relative experiences. They will caused some discomforts, but definitely not life threatening. So, don't worry, be happy... count your blessings to have the luxuries of experiencing failures that will eventually made you a better man. Don't get me wrong, I certainly do not welcome failures. But if it does come knocking at my door, I will face it with objectivity and rationality.
I guess, to have a "simplified" and contented life, I need to basically remove my so called comfort zones. My spiritual master used to remind me not to be afraid of change, not to be afraid of making drastic decision, and be more adaptive and reflective to my environment. I guess this is basically part and parcel of Buddhism's 3rd noble truth of removing the causes of anxieties or sufferings by adapting to a more transparent life. I will, I will for now.
Looking back, I did carry a lot of unnecessary baggages to the extend that I felt that it is everybody's destiny and purpose to take on and share the burdens of others. I went on a very thrifty lifestyle and gave away sigificant amount of what ever I have to help those I care and love. This has been going on for many years until I was jogged to my realization recently. An inconsiderate attempt was orchestrated against me by persons I care very much, and I was also accused of not doing more to help ! The final analysis is, the fault lies within me, I failed to see my own stupidities in helping ungrateful and greedy human beings. Greediness knows no bounds, and unsatisfied inconsiderate demands can indeed motivate a lot of emotional grievances and loopsided accusations. Whatever it is, I had have enough and do not care anymore, people can say whatever they want, and I shall do whatever I want to pursue a life rid of all those unneccessary involvements.
Who should I blame when I willingly open myself to be subjected to be abused ? If I don't understand this simple concept, then God must had made me very stupid. But God did indeed gave me a brain to understand the most complex computer system and financial arrangements, but when it come to matters of the heart, I am naively still a baby. Nevertheless, I count my blessings to be able to always overcome adversaries and came out unscratched. Finally, I am able to remove an emotional and financial obligations that I emotionally allowed myself to tangle in. What a relief ! It was indeed a blessing in disguise! I guess, from now on, I have to be more selfish and need to seriously identified those baggages and dispose them at appropriate times.
Like the Chinese said, good or bad, happy or sad, life does go on, and indeed it does ! Thank you God, for creating all those miracles around me. In thy name I bow my head to show my greatest respect........
Om Namo Amithaba Buddha
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