Sunday's incoherent rantings....
When I first came down to Kuala Lumpur many years ago as a teenager, I rented a shared room on top of a shop in downtown Kuala Lumpur. Kuala Lumpur, 30 or so years ago, was not so much developed physically, but compared to my home town then, it is still leaps ahead. I remembered, the first lift I took was the UMBC building's lift. I was quite fascinated with the mechanic of a life rising within a tall building and its ability randomly stopped at various floor. I actually spend almost half a day in the building trying out the lift until I was asked by the security personnel to leave the premises. I also remembered my inability to communicate with the local Chinese traders in Kuala Lumpur. Back in my hometown, everybody speak Hokkien dialect, but in Kuala Lumpur, all the local Chinese spoke Cantonese dialect. So, to communicate with the local Chinese, I spoke Malay language with them. After a while, the people in the local coffee shop nicknamed me "Malachai" - the Malay boy. Well, those are fragment of memories of my first first encounters with "big" cities.
I also recalled, during my first week in Kuala Lumpur, my 3rd brother, who was already working in Kuala Lumpur, came visiting me in the evening. Before he left, he took out his wallet from his back pocket, and opened the wallet. I took a peek and saw, in the wallet was a piece of RM50 note and a piece of RM 10 note. He inserted his fingers into the wallet, hesitated a moment, pulled out the RM 50 note, and passed it to me. At that time, I was indeed touched by his gesture ! Here, I have a brother, who is willing to part with almost all he had at that moment because of his love for his younger brother. I also remembered how my 2nd brother protected and guide me during my teenage years. I will never forget the good deeds of my 2nd and 3rd brother. For whatever I am today, and whatever I have today, I have been blessed with unconditional love and support of my 2nd and 3rd brothers for me. From the bottom of my heart, I am indebted to them with heartfelt thank and gratitude for "looking out for me".
My father used to tell me that 關門是一家人 or translated, "When the door is shut, all of us inside the house are one big family. We must stay united and look out for each other......" But times has changed and we also need to be practical, We need to reconcile ourselves with the fact that, there are always possibilities of ungrateful family member working with outsiders or driven by personal selfishness and deceptive schemings to betray their own brothers and sisters. We are, after all, human beings. Beside, which family do not have these issues. Not trying to be emotional, but ungratefulness does inflict pains on the hearts and causes family members to mistrust and to stop their inclinations to help each other. Since time immemorial, 家家有一本難念的經, translated, every family has its embarrassing situations and growing pains. I guess, the best way to protect oneself from this dreaded menaces is to reciprocate with immediate and decisive rationality and objectivity in COLD decision. After all, when you are in the thankless pit, don't be so naive to think that ungrateful people can suddenly be overcame with remorse to shower you with kindness. They will probably try to drown you in the pit with further fabricated justifications. .
In life, everyone wants to embrace good life and the extras that come with it. But, at what price ? Life is basically a seasonality of good times and bad times. I had experienced the best of times as well as the worst of time. I take life as it is, and I seek no faults or credits from others for life's outcomes. Nobody owes me a living, and I do not owe anybody a living. Come what may, I will accept whatever that come along as an unavoidable parts and parcels of life's journey. I will carry on doing whatever I felt is right at my own term and pace, the rest, I leave it to the almighty.
All of us are not saints, so am I. As far as I am concerned, my children and my wife are now the top most of my priorities and I will also not deny my indebtedness to people who had helped me along the way. For the rest that came with misplaced grievances, rights, or wrongs, I only have this to say "you know, I know, and God know.... get out of my life !". For whatever unwelcome intention that has been directed against me, I see no benefits to waste my time to engage these negative energies. But it is righteous of me to protect myself by reciprocating selfishness with selfishness, thanklessness with thanklessness, and ungratefulness with ungratefulness.
They said, love conquers all. Does it ? Love is, after all, an illogical emotional science. I will not subject myself to be abused by blinded love and the pervertism of unconditionality. If we indulge in it blindly without any objectivity and rationality, at the end of the day, all will end up as losers. That, is a lesson well learned.
Om Mani Padme Hum.......
I also recalled, during my first week in Kuala Lumpur, my 3rd brother, who was already working in Kuala Lumpur, came visiting me in the evening. Before he left, he took out his wallet from his back pocket, and opened the wallet. I took a peek and saw, in the wallet was a piece of RM50 note and a piece of RM 10 note. He inserted his fingers into the wallet, hesitated a moment, pulled out the RM 50 note, and passed it to me. At that time, I was indeed touched by his gesture ! Here, I have a brother, who is willing to part with almost all he had at that moment because of his love for his younger brother. I also remembered how my 2nd brother protected and guide me during my teenage years. I will never forget the good deeds of my 2nd and 3rd brother. For whatever I am today, and whatever I have today, I have been blessed with unconditional love and support of my 2nd and 3rd brothers for me. From the bottom of my heart, I am indebted to them with heartfelt thank and gratitude for "looking out for me".
My father used to tell me that 關門是一家人 or translated, "When the door is shut, all of us inside the house are one big family. We must stay united and look out for each other......" But times has changed and we also need to be practical, We need to reconcile ourselves with the fact that, there are always possibilities of ungrateful family member working with outsiders or driven by personal selfishness and deceptive schemings to betray their own brothers and sisters. We are, after all, human beings. Beside, which family do not have these issues. Not trying to be emotional, but ungratefulness does inflict pains on the hearts and causes family members to mistrust and to stop their inclinations to help each other. Since time immemorial, 家家有一本難念的經, translated, every family has its embarrassing situations and growing pains. I guess, the best way to protect oneself from this dreaded menaces is to reciprocate with immediate and decisive rationality and objectivity in COLD decision. After all, when you are in the thankless pit, don't be so naive to think that ungrateful people can suddenly be overcame with remorse to shower you with kindness. They will probably try to drown you in the pit with further fabricated justifications. .
In life, everyone wants to embrace good life and the extras that come with it. But, at what price ? Life is basically a seasonality of good times and bad times. I had experienced the best of times as well as the worst of time. I take life as it is, and I seek no faults or credits from others for life's outcomes. Nobody owes me a living, and I do not owe anybody a living. Come what may, I will accept whatever that come along as an unavoidable parts and parcels of life's journey. I will carry on doing whatever I felt is right at my own term and pace, the rest, I leave it to the almighty.
All of us are not saints, so am I. As far as I am concerned, my children and my wife are now the top most of my priorities and I will also not deny my indebtedness to people who had helped me along the way. For the rest that came with misplaced grievances, rights, or wrongs, I only have this to say "you know, I know, and God know.... get out of my life !". For whatever unwelcome intention that has been directed against me, I see no benefits to waste my time to engage these negative energies. But it is righteous of me to protect myself by reciprocating selfishness with selfishness, thanklessness with thanklessness, and ungratefulness with ungratefulness.
They said, love conquers all. Does it ? Love is, after all, an illogical emotional science. I will not subject myself to be abused by blinded love and the pervertism of unconditionality. If we indulge in it blindly without any objectivity and rationality, at the end of the day, all will end up as losers. That, is a lesson well learned.
Om Mani Padme Hum.......
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