Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Round Two : After the first Chemo

22nd October 2008

I did not have a good night sleep last night because the pain at abdominal and back was quite unbearable. I woke up at around 2:30AM, and was lying on the bed staring at the ceiling waiting for morning to come. No matter how hard I tried, sleep just won't come.

At around 5:00AM, I on my notebook to surf the net, checking and replying emails, and other stuffs I normally do on the net. As usual, At around 6:00AM, I go for my morning walk in the park and came back around 7:00AM.

Today, I guess is not really not a good day for me. Firstly, I am tired due to lack of sleep, and secondly, I don't seem to have appetite for foods even though I am hungry. And the pain at the abdominal area is getting really unbearable. Taking the painkiller will put me in a drowsy mood, and I want to be in control of myself. In fact, I am in a bit of foul moods just wanting to let go my frustration on anybody that is within my vicinity. But I guess I have to control my emotion in order not to let my negative energy disrupt the harmony of the environment.

I do ask myself why I have to suffer from this dreaded disease. But I guess it is meaningless to query the unknowns. God has given me a life, it is also his prerogative to take back this life. But whatever it is, I am nt going to pitified myself over spilled milk, I will have to be strong for myself and family members to overcome whatever difficulties that may arised in the near future.

The rest of the day are monotonous and boring, I just don't know how to pass my time today, perhaps, I am too moody today.

The only good news I received today is, when my son show me a letter from the college that he qualified for graduation in the B. Sc ( hons) program. At least now I have one less financial burden and look forward to see this young man start a new career and a life of his own.

Oh yah, I also forgot to mention that, my God daughter gave birth to a healthy baby boy last week. Due to my current health condition, I have not been able to visit my God Daughter and my “grandson” yet. Anyway, I am very happy that Almighty God gave a new life and a new hope to my family. I look forward to hold my “grandson” on my lap......... At 48 years old, and I already have a grandson !

Despite all the setbacks, life is, after all not so bad. At least, I still have a healthy, happy, and supportive family.

I do hope tonight I can have a good night sleep.......................


Anonymous said...


May I suggest you joint a cancer support good. Also talk to cancer beaters who not only survived but have changed their lives for the better and helped other victims.

I suggest you start with National Cancer Society of Malaysia. Visit their website at

Take care bro, pray to Lord Jesus and our heavenly Father. He will grant you peace and calm to enable you to sleep and function normally again. Even if you have the faith of a mustard seed, you will see a miracle in your life.

God Bless.

Anonymous said...

"faith of a mustard seed" explanation:

The Peaceful Man said...

CK, Anonymous is right. Joining a support group definitely helps. Be strong brother. Have faith in HIM

Kit Ying said...

Dear Ck
"There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens.
A time to be born, and a time to die......
A time to weep and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance.... a time to keep and a time to cast away.
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-2,4,6,
When God reveals to us that our time to leave the earth is approaching, we weep a little. Indeed it is sad to think of leaving those we love.
But we set those feelings aside and go on living each day God gives us. We live, confident that God is holding our hand to help us through this distressing time.
We hold on to our sense of humour which you are doing. We need to laugh at our disabilities and humble ourselves. We recognise our total dependence on God for our very existence. We recognise and value life's most precious gifts. We cast away all our attachments to things of this world and strive to enter into a life of the Spirit.
If the Father has loved us so much as to give us knowledge of impending death, then surely he will send his Spirit to guide us to him. Death is not ot be feared . It is but the entrance to eternal life.
I read the above in a book and I want to share it with you. At the end of the day it is God who decides the number of days we have on this earth. Learn to trust him and his love for you. Jesus is the Great Physician and may he grant you healing and peace. I am praying for you and the family.

Dawn said...

Stay strong kai yeh. Isaac is waiting for you to hold. We will drop by during his fullmoon. Andy and I will always pray for you.