Friday, October 31, 2008

Reflections : Life with Cancer

When I was told that I had cancer at the pancreas, my mind went blank. I refused to believe, in a state of denial, and at the same time in silent despair. Words simply can not describe how I felt over the next few days. For the first time in my life, I never felt so alone and helpless. For the first time in my life, in the quietness of the night, when I was alone, I cried.

I realized, I must come to term with the reality. I still need to be the pillar for my family. I simply cannot allow my weaknesses and negative emotions affect the emotional well beings of my wife and children. Life must go on, I must be strong for them, and that's life.

I know this is a beginning of a tough journey to restore my health. Whether I overcome this illness or not, one thing for sure, life would never be the same again for me. I pray to the Almighty to give me a second chance to restore normalcy to my life.

I count my blessing that during my times of difficulties, my relatives and friends rallied to support me. I felt so lucky to have my family showering me with prayer, care, concern, and love. It is also during this period that I discover my inner strength to confront and manage my health problem. I am proud of myself for the courage and rationality to face the consequent with objectivity. At the same time, on the day to day basis, I also felt a very strange calmness within me in dealing with pains, anxieties, and uncertainties. I know, the Almighty has sent his angels to surround me and guide me through my time of difficulties. He makes way for me when everything seemed so hopeless. I praise the Almighty for his grace and generosity. Putting rationality aside, I know, I must now also have greater faith in the Almighty.

Over the previous two week, I had also felt the miraculous power of the Almighty. I am humbled by the good blessings he bestowed on me. I have not seen Lord Jesus, But I BELIEVE he will guide me to embrace a new purpose in life, and to be a better man.

In the past, I had been arrogant in dealing with matter before me. I had always look at life at the my own perspective, at my own convenient, and my own interpretation of rationality. Between faith and reason, spirituality has always been the last of my priority. In this regard, on my bended knee, I humbly seek forgiveness from the all loving Almighty and Lord Jesus Christ.

October 28th 2008 shall be a very meaningful day for the rest of my life. On this day, I accept and surrender myself to Lord Jesus Christ. This shall also be a new beginning for me to acquire new wisdom in life, and new determination to heal my body and soul.

I know, it is going to be a long road ahead in my quest to regain my health. Come what may, I will face the best of times, and the worst of times with courage and positivities. I know, with greater control of my mind, and stronger faith in spirituality, I shall overcome. That's life.......


stella_sabian said...

You are a strong person and I'm sure you will be awarded with on emore chance to change the way of life.

ireneloh said...

Kiat, GOD will hear our prayers and GOD will heal you. Have faith in HIM. Go to this site-Father peter Rookey- say "The Miracle Prayer".

Anonymous said...


I am so pleased to hear your acceptance of Jesus Christ. Personally I have great admiration for Buddha, but I believe Buddha himself never claim to be God. Buddha was great man, but Jesus is the Lord and our Savior.

I am glad you finally swallow your pride and let the ego out and accept Jesus. This is the beginning of your journey of recovery and you will be blessed with a new mission in life after of a miracle which is about to come to you soon.

Praise The Lord

Kit Ying said...

Dearest CK
Overjoyed that you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour. Indeed God is good and he answers prayers. Yes Jesus is real and he will be there guiding you and holding your hand as you walk with him. Just seek Him daily and you will feel His presence and peace. Above all, you will find the joy and fulfilment that you have been seeking all your life. Jesus said "I have come that you may have life and life to the full."
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God; and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus"
May the Good Lord grant you healing. I shall continue to pray for you

Rowena said...

Still keeping you in my prayers and hope everything is going as good as it can possibly be.


ngai said...

Dear CK,
I's deeply touched by reading your sharing over thoughts, feelings and courage.
For the past few days in my prayer I'd been asking our Lord Jesus for a word of comfort if I were write something to you of which His love and peace were already demonstrated through His peoples around you, but more than that He said to you " Draw nigh to me and I will draw nigh to you. He is there for you surely when you call Him.
And simply because God is love, Jahova Rapha (The Healer), The Almighty... Omnipotent/ Omniscient/ Omni present God...
And when one man(You!) is saved the whole heavenly rejoice, me too.

I'm sure you held the cheque and appropriated it.
Shalom from ngai.

KS Cheah said...

Bro, we need all the reinforcements we can get in tough times and I am glad you chose Christianity to help you focus your prayer. it is a right decision made better by the fact that you have so many Christian friends and family around you to walk with you.

Keep the faith bro for within it you will find the peace and focus you need in this ordeal by fire.

Your friend always.