Sunday, April 19, 2009

Looking back.......

Time flies, 8 enlightening months had passed since I was diagnosed with Cancer. I know, my chances of recovery is good as long as I can keep waking up the next day ! So every morning when I woke up and felt the sharp tearing pains at my abdominal areas and backs, I said praises and thank the Almighty for allowing me the luxury to feel the pains ! Because a dead body would not be able to feel any pain at all. At least with the pain, I know I am still alive and gearing to face the challenge of the day. I am getting pervertedly oxymoronic ? I shake my head....

Looking back, the previous eight months has given me the luxury to be enlightened with knowledges of human characters. When I was on medical leave, I was extremely sad to learn that my most trusted assistant is actually a gang leader in my company conducting criminal breach of trust to steal money from the company. I also have a close relative who I helped the most, never visited me once during my sickness, but send occasional sarcastic emails to me, because he felt that I did not offer more help to him. There are friends who tried to make money from me during my time of desperations. There are also many other instances of unacceptable behaviors from people I know. Generally, these behaviors are driven by human being's greeds and ungratefulness. In a way, I thank the Almighty for unmasking them. As a God fearing person, I shall obey his command to forgive them, but I will also need to built a firewall around my family to protect ill intents being committed against my family members.

Of course, I am also extremely lucky to be blessed with so many good friends and relatives that offer supports during the times of my health crisis. The past eight months were actually a period of blessings where I was given opportunities to be drawn closer to my friends and relatives. It is the support and encouragement rendered by these group of friends and relatives that gave me the courage and will to fight on. Sometimes, the Almighty indeed work in a very miraculous way to make us aware and beware of the people surrounding us.

During the past 8 months, I looked towards evident based medicine and faith in the Almighty in my efforts to seek recovery of my health. So far, there are improvements in my health, but not significant enough for me to jump with great joy. I guess, with Chronic illness like cancer, there is only so much modern medicine can help. With regards to having faith in the Almighty for healing, I guess I can go on praying to the Almighty for healing, but I am also a practical man. Mrylogical reasoning is, if the Almighty want to heal me, he would have heal me long time ago. I think I will not indulge in anymore prayers to seek interventions of the Almighty for recovery of my health. I think the Almighty is too busy to answer my prayers. From now on, if I want to get well soon, it is now up to me to condition my frame of mind to activate new strategies to fight on.

The mind is the most dangerous playground, but it is also the most powerful weapon against illnesses. I believe, I can find a way to control mind to activate healing within me to destroy the cancer cells and tumor in my body. I will have to find a way for my mind to establish control over my body. All I need to do now is, Think Positive, regular exercise through Qi Qong, and Change my diet to vegetarian diets. Of course, I will still continue with my present daily oral chemo drugs as long as the good doctor think it is necessary.

They said, what you think, you become. I think, I am going to win this war against cancer and emerged as a warrior. I will and I shall........................

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

CK,

With humans, many things are impossible. But with God all things are possible. Remember all prayers and request have to be answered in God's terms and time and not human's. Keep you faith brother and continue to pray for your recovery.

Praise The Lord

Kit Ying said...

Dear CK
When there seems to be silence from God, the devil is playing tricks on you. God listens and has answered you already. He says "Be still and know that I am God." Be patient dear brother, as gold takes time to be refined by fire, so too you are slowly moulded into the desired product that will give glory to God. Never give up because God never gives up on us!