A shadow of certainty ?

I have
my troubled past,
and my glorious past.
It seemed,
I am contented with the present.
But am I in control of the present ?
The present,
will it dictates my future ?
What will it be ?
How can I ensure
a better future for my loved ones ?

I fear not the future nor the present.
I fear nothing,
but the shadow of of my fear.
My physical state is constant,
and my fears at times
are measurable and predictable.
But that elusive formless shadow,
grasped not, contained not,
varies with perception from different angles.

Is that elusive shadow my own ghost ?
Of my not so glorious pasts,
unwelcomely tagging along, to haunt me ?
To remind me
of my misdeeds of despite ?
or to challenge me
to let go of future responsibilities ?

In silence I do fear.
How can I find a tongue for my silence,
to turn these fears into ballads of life normalcy.
And a ballad of celebration of life and its purpose.<

Oh Almighty,
you have shined a light on me,
when my world is in darkness, and
when I am at my darkest moment of despair.
That shadow is
merely a reflection of my wronged priority
for wealth, honour, fame, and arrogances.

I fear not now my shadow.
That shadow reminds me
that I am still alive,
that you are always up there,
guiding me out of uncertainty
and life's dark patches.

My heart,
my mind
fears not the shadow of doubts.
The time shall come.
And I shall
meet the tides with no fear,
but with a peaceful and contented mind.